Title:
Ali Stroker – Tony Award Winner | From Burberry Dreams to Broadway History

Subtitle:
Ali Stroker talks visibility, confidence, and the journey from being seen to being celebrated with Alycia Anderson

Transcript:

Alycia Anderson: Welcome to Pushing Forward with Alycia, a podcast that gives disability a voice. Each week we will explore topics like confidence, ambition, resilience, and finding success against all odds. We are creating a collective community that believes that all things are possible for all people. Open hearts, clear paths.

Let’s go.

Welcome back to Pushing Forward with Alycia. On one side of the pendulum, I’m gonna fangirl. On the other side of the pendulum, I’m gonna friend girl because we’ve known each other for a really long time. I’ve admired this person, this woman, years before Broadway, Tony Awards, spotlights, influencing author, mom, wife, all the things. Ali, do you remember when we met? This is a quiz and you don’t have to get this right, but I have a story to share.

Ali Stroker: I think I remember. I think it was at an expo.

Alycia Anderson: Okay, it was. Do you remember what we talked about?

Ali Stroker: Maybe we were talking about clothes?

Alycia Anderson: Close.

We were talking about wheelchairs. To our community, Ali Stroker’s on the show. Hello. We have made it. She is here. Before I give your grand introduction about all the things that you have done and accomplished, I was doing some reflection on when did we meet, when did our paths cross?

Ali Stroker: It was a really long time ago, like before representation, before social media, before influencing, before we could have the reach that we do and have taken our narrative and stories into our own hands. It was at an expo, and I was working at the Colours booth, during the Colours and wheelchairs movement and all the things that were going on back then. You rolled up, and you were in this wheelchair that had three wheels. I’ll never forget it. Do you remember that wheelchair? Was it the hot pink one?

Alycia Anderson: It was a very different chair. You rolled up, and we started talking and made friends. And then we started talking about how we could make our wheelchairs more fashion forward. And you were like, “All we need is a Burberry seat cover to bring in our style.” And I was like, “Yeah.” That was really forward thinking back then to up the game. High end, designer wheelchair.

For whatever reason, that conversation always stood out to me. When I see you, I think of fashion forward representation, having these thoughtful movement moments before they were actually happening like they are. Then I reflect on who you are today, which is this Tony Award-winning actress. A person who has been the first wheelchair user on Broadway, made it to Netflix and Hulu and HBO, and been on shows like Ozark and Echoes. The list go on, author, mom, wife. You’ve just made such a big impact in the movement that we are all navigating today. It was so innovative and fresh and new, way back when we didn’t have all these tools. You’ve done so much to expand what women and other people with disabilities, how we can start to see ourselves in spaces that we wouldn’t have before.

Ali Stroker: You’ve just done such a really great, incredible job in being a leader in changing so many lives and also expanding possibility, and representation, and conversations, and belief in our paths. Well done, number one. Thank you.

Alycia Anderson: Yeah, I’ve been cheering you on from afar, just from the Burberry seat to Broadway. It’s been

Ali Stroker: incredible.

Alycia Anderson: Thank you. I just wanna say, you’ve always meant so much to me because you’re right, it was before social media, before we were able to really see role models. I’ve been in a chair since I was two. I grew up in the nineties, and I was always looking for girls that were a little bit older than me. You’re not that much older than me. I am not.

Ali Stroker: Just a few years. I was always so encouraged and comforted by seeing you, and talking to you, and just knowing that there were other girls and women out there that were living a life like mine. I remember, very well, that conversation at the Colours booth. Because not only were you in a chair. you let off a vibe that was like, “I wanna push the envelope. I’m proud of who I am, and I’m confident in who I am and the way I move through the world and in my wheelchair,” which is why I felt comfortable enough to have that conversation with you. You’ve always meant so much to me.

I love seeing you when our paths cross and cheering for you. You’re doing such amazing things, so thank you for having me on.

Alycia Anderson: Yeah, it’s really great to be in community. And I think that’s one of the biggest gifts that we’ve all found when we’re navigating the different opportunities that are out there is bumping into one another, making friends and going, “Oh wow. If she can do that, maybe I can do whatever that thing is.”

Okay, so you just mentioned your disability, becoming disabled at two. Can we look back on your journey just a little bit, for those who might not know the story, and how your relationship with your disability has grown, transformed over time, when you’re navigating, owning that?

Ali Stroker: Yeah. I was injured in a car accident, when I was two, with my mom and my brother, on the street that we lived on. It was ’89, and we weren’t in car seats. We were in the back of the station wagon. It was an accident, but my brother and I were really severely injured. I had a spinal cord injury. My spinal cord injury is C7-T2 incomplete, and my brother had a traumatic brain injury. When I speak about it, it was like the beginning of a new life for our family It was a year before the A DA was passed, and there were a lot of stigmas around disability. My parents had very little experience with disability, but they did have experience with trauma and having to overcome.

I always say I had the best parents for my situation and my injury. Our community was super involved after Jake and I got hurt, and raised a lot of money, and helped us get equipment and accommodations. And then, I was introduced to theater when I was seven, and that changed my entire life. For people who are listening, who have a disability, there is an experience when you go out into the world when people stare at you I always say they can’t break the gaze. They can’t let go. I always say it’s just too good. I remember feeling that way when I went out into the world. I didn’t feel different at home, but I felt different when I was out in the world. Finding theater helped me with that gaze, because I realized that I could actually command and ask for people to look at me on my terms.

I loved that feeling. I loved the feeling of being empowered. Because as a little girl in a wheelchair,I felt like people felt bad for me or I didn’t feel like it. I experienced people feeling bad for me, and that did not feel good. I was not into that and I was super aware of it. So the theater thing gave me another identity. I didn’t just have to be the girl in the wheelchair.

I was a girl who sang and did theater, and that was my thing. My processing my injury and being in a chair came out a lot through my theater and singing. So singing for me is where I feel most free.

Living in a paralyzed body, you feel your limitations, you feel your walls, and you feel where your body is not able to do certain things, even though it feels normal. My family is able bodied, so I was very aware of what I could and could not do. Now, singing, there are no limitations, there’s no stairs, there’s no inaccessible entrances and bathrooms. It’s just like where I can fully express myself. And as a little kid with a disability, I had a lot to get off my chest.

Singing was where I can scream, I can be loud, I can be moody, and edgy, and bitchy, and it’s safe. It’s a safe place. I sang. I took voice lessons every single week of my life starting at seven. I was in productions and involved in theater and shows all the time. Because my family was like, “We’re not gonna look at what you can’t do. We’re only gonna look at what you can, so we’re putting all our eggs in this basket.” It really paid off. And along the way, having a disability, being in theater, I was experiencing people who were not on board. People were like, “She can’t dance, she can’t be in the show. The theater’s not accessible, she can’t do it.”

And my parents just were not willing to take no for an answer, which I’m so grateful for now. They were fierce advocates. They had to do it for me and my brother. They always told us, they were like, “You can do anything you want. You’re just gonna do it in your way, and your way has never been done before. So you are an original and you are a superstar.” And I believed them. I believed my dad and my mom when they said that. Also when I started to sing and perform, I started to get a certain kind of attention that I loved, which was like, you are able to move people. And that made me feel like I could have a purpose and that I could be powerful in my life.

Alycia Anderson: That idea of living your life on a stage before all of this. I have the exact same lived experience as a little girl with that gaze. You just articulated that so perfectly, and I’m sure so many little ones growing up with disabilities experience that gaze that you literally cannot break.

When I was little, I used to try to find the outlet, too. I would say all the time I feel like I’m living on a stage. I’m not choosing this and literally, I’m on display constantly. So I love how you articulated that. And then also transformed it into your power and your voice is absolutely incredible.

So finding that outlet and then really focusing on fine tuning it to the point of it being one of your greatest assets is absolutely incredible, and then you could tell your story. Even as a speaker, the same thing. I am moved by the audience engaging with the message. Where you see real shifts happening.

Ali Stroker: And I can only imagine how many “nos” there was in front of you, way back then, just from an inaccessibility standpoint. Yeah, and also fear, right? I had this in school and in college. Most people in the arts that I was working with had never worked with anybody in a chair, so they were afraid and they didn’t have the answers. My parents kept saying, “You don’t have to have the answers. We have the answers. We live it. You don’t. We got this.” I’m so glad that was our strategy because if I had listened to people who were afraid and had no experience, I would be waiting for them. A huge part of myMO is you don’t wait for permission to do what you wanna do. And you don’t wait for permission to do it your way. It’s on your terms. And it’s always had to be on my terms. Anything that’s worked out for me in my life has been on my terms. Not to be a control freak, but it’s different. It’s different. Everything from education to dating, to career, to living. I’ve had to just pave my own road. I would say that to anyone, not just somebody in a wheelchair or with a disability. I would say it to any person who’s coming up, trying to build something that they care about, that matters to them and the world. Do not wait for permission. It’s not coming the way that you think you need it. You don’t need it. You just have to go do it.

Alycia Anderson: Do you know how much time that could save people from trying to fit into a box that they never will? Years, or maybe even a lifetime.

Ali Stroker: I know. It’s so true. Maybe this is something that I’ve observed, but we believe that there is a path, and we believe that there’s a right way to do it and a right order to do it. The truth is there is not a right way. It’s only your way.

Alycia Anderson: And we could talk about your way in that you have been breaking glass ceilings, not only for disabled people, but for women, for actors, for singers, for all kinds of amazing people in this world that are watching you. You made history on Broadway becoming the first wheelchair user to ever receive a Tony Award.

That impact. I always wanted to go to Broadway and see a show. Never had, and then I saw you and all the things that you were doing in Oklahoma. I told my husband like, “We have to go. This is the moment that we’re gonna go.”

I’m sure you hear this from a lot of people, so this is probably the same story over and over. I literally could not stop crying for 30 minutes, not because there’s my friend, Ali. It was because there is this incredible actress, singer, talented human who rolls her wheelchair onto that stage.

It was never mentioned, and they adapted and sewed you into this character that was so perfect. And she was the sassy one that dated around, had all the things that I always wanted to be, as a woman with a disability: proud, fierce, unapologetic, not ever having to explain myself.

It was life changing for me, and I’m sure it was for so many other people. Will you just please talk about this for a minute?There’s so many amazing things that you’ve done, but this was so important. It was so important.

Ali Stroker: Thank you, and thank you for sharing that story. I went to see Broadway shows growing up because I was obsessed with musical theater, and I knew I wanted to be on Broadway when I was seven years old. I was always looking for people that looked like me.

I wanted to believe that it was possible. And I never saw anyone like me on stage, or backstage, or working in the theater. When I made my Broadway debut was Spring Awakening in 2015, and made history as the first person in a wheelchair to ever be on Broadway.

I remember when my agents told me this. I was like, “That can’t be true. We need to check that. It’s 2015. That’s absurd.”

Alycia Anderson: Yeah.

Ali Stroker: And then we realized that it was true. In 2019, I did Oklahoma and played Ado Annie. I’ll be honest with you, Oklahoma and Ado Annie, I had always put in the category of old-school traditional musicals that kind of fall flat. I don’t know, they weren’t as interesting to me. But when this audition was happening, it was being coined the dark, sexy version of Oklahoma, and they were looking for out-of-the-box casting.

And Alycia, if I am one thing in this business, it’s out of the box. So I was like, “Great, I can audition.” So I went in and auditioned I sang the song the way that it’s traditionally done, which is a little hokey in my opinion. It’s very important musical theater in the American repertoire. And then the director stopped me and was like, “Okay, now sing it as if you are in a country bar drunk.”

And I was like, “Now we’re talking.” Not because I am a country girl or that I go out drinking all the time, that’s not who I am either.

However, it was just a moment for me to hear the leader of this production saying, “Let’s do something different.” And that was just for me, “Green light, let’s go.”

That’s how I live. So that’s how I approached Ado Annie. I also feel like sometimes she’s played as if she’s not that smart. I think she’s really smart, and I think she is really unapologetic. And playing a role like that, it affects you as a person. I remember getting out there every single night and getting to sing, “Can’t Say No,” which is like an anthem about not apologizing for who you are. And I was like, “Gosh, if the stars could align, this is what it looks like.” I so appreciate you sharing how emotional you felt when you saw me on stage. “I got to see a friend of mine in a chair on stage for the first time, and it was the first time I had ever seen another woman in a wheelchair on stage.” I also felt really emotional because I felt like little Ali was seeing like, “There I am. There I am.”

I am a part of the narrative. I fit. I am in this arena. Now to come full circle. When I’m on my Tony Award, I dedicated the award to kids watching that have limitations, or disabilities, or challenges, who don’t see themselves represented. Now you are. It was also a call to action to be like, “You’re represented. Now, there’s no excuse. If you want it, come get it. You have to work really hard, harder than you ever thought you could.

You’ve got to believe in yourself more than anyone else, and you’ve gotta not give up.” It was just a life changing moment because I always wanted to be on Broadway. Because I always wanted to work at the highest level.

I had this thing about the fact that I felt like the world had very low expectations of me because of my disability.

So, for me, working at the highest level was I had to prove that to myself. That I wasn’t just gonna be given charity or a break, that I was good enough to compete. Then to win was crazy, ’cause I was like, “I’m not doing what anyone else is doing.” I won, and then I realized, “Oh, that’s how you win. Some people don’t win, lose, whatever, but I grew up in a sports family. In the arts, you win by being you and doing what you do well.

I’m not tap dancing up there. I can’t compete in that, but I can sing my head off. I can act. I can perform. I can dance. I move really well with my chair and in my physical vocabulary. I just feel really proud that I was able to do it, and really grateful that the timing and everything aligned and the production.

Yeah,it was a huge moment for me in my life and I’m so grateful for it. And it was the biggest moment in my life until I had my son.

Alycia Anderson: Just congratulations on that. I think that it’s absolutely like your gold medal. I do the same thing in my own business. I want to win that next stage. Sometimes people in my life going, “I don’t know, you’re being a little competitive.” I’m like, “I am competitive.”

Ali Stroker: Of course you are. Of course you are.

Alycia Anderson: But like you said, having that drive and allowing yourself the personal grace to go for it because you want to get to the top of whatever it is you’re chasing motivates a lot of people. Motivates me, too.

Ali Stroker: I think that having a competitive spirit or competition inside of you is really helpful. And I know that we’ve, for years, been like, “Don’t compete against other women and don’t do this.” And I understand that. I don’t think comparing yourself is healthy. However, I do think it is something that helps people stay motivated, and helps them also get clear about, “What do I really want here? What is my goal? What am I shooting for?”

I don’t know. For anybody who’s listening who feels like, “I’m competitive and I don’t really know what to do with it,” don’t push it down. Don’t. And even if you’re competing with yourself, that’s okay, too. Just remember that the win and lose, and the beating yourself up or whatever, that’s not healthy. That’s not gonna help you continue forward.

I love that you said you’re competitive, too. I can tell.

Alycia Anderson: And it’s not even competition. I don’t think it’s competition against other people. I think it’s just me. You achieve something, and it gives me a drive to go, “Okay, what else can I do? What’s next?

Just that drive in the accomplishments. It’s that journey. It’s so cliche, but it is actually the journey of, “Oh wow, I did that. What is next? Oh, I figured this out. Now what can I do?”

Ali Stroker: And I think also having a disability and being in a wheelchair. I don’t wanna speak on behalf of everyone, but I’ll speak on behalf of myself, that it feels good to feel like I can compete.

Alycia Anderson: Yeah.

Ali Stroker: And that I can be in the running, that I have the skillset and the ability to do that. I think there’s something to that as well.

Alycia Anderson: Yeah, especially if you’re Ali, as a little girl, trying to get on all these stages and you hear no. Until yes. And you go, “Okay, then I can.”

I bought every single one of your books for all the kiddos. I like how the books that you’re writing are in the middle school age. Can you talk a little bit about becoming an author? It seems like you’ve got a focus there. Can you talk a little bit about your why?

Ali Stroker: Yeah. I was approached in 2017 by a friend of a friend. She wanted to interview me, ’cause she was working on a character in a wheelchair, who did theater. This had been the seventh ask about this that year. I sat down with her and I really liked her vibe. And I was like, “What if we just wrote a book together? And the main character was the character in a wheelchair, who wanted to be in theater. And she was like, “Oh my God, you would do that?” And I was like, “Yes, let’s do it.” Now, Alycia, I’m not a writer. I do not consider myself a student. I never liked to read. So that is where I was at. But, my motivation, and my drive to do this was that I really struggled in middle school, and I really needed representation. And not just the once in a while kids that you see on PBS and Sesame Street in a wheelchair, I’m talking about somebody in a wheelchair talking about dating, about trying to keep up with friends, about losing friends, about feeling uncomfortable around other kids with disabilities. I needed that. I needed someone else to look to that understood it, that got it.

I was like, “I gotta write these books.” Representation is a huge drive for me in my career. I really was scared in doing it because I don’t have a ton of confidence in writing. But, I also know that if you wanna do something, don’t do it alone. Do it with somebody who’s really good at it, and then you learn how to do it really well. My friend, Stacy, and co-author, had written tons of middle grade books.

She and I sat down and did outlines together. I took the parts of the book where I really wanted to dive deeper into representation, into what it feels like to roll into a room at 12 years old, in a wheelchair, to be the only one in a chair, and what that feels like.

What does it really feel like? Not, “I felt alone.” No. “I felt like I was being stung by a hundred bees. I felt so different. I felt like everyone was looking at me. I felt like there was nothing I could say. in fact, I didn’t even have a voice.”

I wanted someone to go there. We did it. We wrote the first book. It was around the time that I was doing Oklahoma, so that was great timing. And then we wrote a second book. It was so fun to get to elaborate on the characters and stories. And then I wrote a children’s book called Ali and the Sea Stars, which is more preschool, kindergarten age. That was amazing because I wrote it based on my experience of being introduced to musical theater at the Jersey Shore, which is just like a really special memory for me and a really special time. My next door neighbor was 12 and decided that she wanted to direct a production of Annie, and we did it in our backyard.

That’s how I was introduced to theater, and there were no adults involved. It was just kids. I wanted to write that book because I want young kids to know that you don’t need to get cast in a show to make theater, or to make a show, or to build a production. You can do that on your own. In fact, doing it with other kids, sometimes, is even better, ’cause the creativity is just off the wall. So I have that book as well. But the books have been really fun. Anybody who’s listening, who’s ever wanted to write a book, write it. Do not wait for a publishing deal. Do not wait for somebody to give you the rules about how to write a book, write it, and then figure out how to do it. The next step. But do it.

I have to tell you, you are in unbelievable shape. I am like, are amazing. How do you do that? I wanna

know.

Alycia Anderson: Last year before I turned 50, I feel like I’m just like going, keeping up with the Jones, I might, and I’m constantly like, am I good enough yet? And last year before I turned 50, I was like, I’m turning 50 what is happening?

Ali Stroker: Yeah.

Alycia Anderson: I literally went to work. Like I lost a bunch of weight. Like I, but

Ali Stroker: How did you do it?

Alycia Anderson: I ride the hand cycle and I lift weights and I play tennis I go on walks with my dog and I try to stay active. And

I noticed that if I am especially lifting weights I don’t even have to watch that much what I’m eating.

I reduce it a little bit. Like I’m making probably smarter choices.

Ali Stroker: I wanna be, I wanna get better.

Alycia Anderson: I feel the same way. Like I had my son and I just, I’ve, I am really working on it right now, but my attention to care has been on him, and it’s really hard for me to take my attention off of him and put it on myself.

Totally.

Ali Stroker: Really hard.

Alycia Anderson: I know that.

Ali Stroker: In order for me to show up for him my husband and my work, I have to take care of myself.

Alycia Anderson: Yeah.

Ali Stroker: It’s more than just putting on makeup now. As you get older, like I have to move. I have to move my body. I have to drink water.

Alycia Anderson: Okay.

Ali Stroker: Ali, you have to drink water. Like enough is enough. Enough is enough.

You’ve done your years of drinking coffee all day, now you have to drink water.

Alycia Anderson: Yeah.

Ali Stroker: Because the coffeee

Alycia Anderson: Yeah.

Ali Stroker: doesn’t work anymore.

Alycia Anderson: It doesn’t work.

Yeah, and I think giving yourself some grace, like moms like, I don’t know how you do it. I watch my sister and I’m like so exhausted. Just dealing with my own self.

Ali Stroker: You are doing a hundred thousand things too. Like it’s not about, it’s about making a choice.

It’s really hard to, I, and this is again, another moment of like my processing my disability about looking at my health.

Like for so long I did a lot of disassociating with my health.

Alycia Anderson: Yeah.

Ali Stroker: Because it was scary and it was hard and it was miserable.

And it was frustrating. You have no reality if you don’t have your health. It’s really hard to make peace with that. And it’s really hard to let go a little bit because I think part of my, as a kid, part of my power came from my toughness around my health.

But as I get older, being tough and muscling through and using that mechanism that I used for years of just, fight on. It’s like that fight doesn’t keep you healthy.

Alycia Anderson: We are so similar because like when I was a kid too, it was like, okay, time to go to work. Like you’re not gonna cry, you’re gonna go do what you need to get done. You’re gonna fix what you need to fix today. Don’t think about it, disassociate, go on. Because all those things that we were going through as kids is extremely traumatic and scary.

Ali Stroker: And the disassociation, like you said, is my natural response. Okay, it’s fine. I’ll just bear through it, just get through it again.

Alycia Anderson: As disabled women I think there’s a lot that goes on in the evolution of our bodies. It for all women, all people I guess. But like for us it’s extra. Like I don’t, is that selfish to say? I think it’s probably a fair statement.

Ali Stroker: Fair.

Alycia Anderson: I don’t know what the answer is.

Ali Stroker: I mean, I have so many friends that are my age that are doing so many things now, right? Everything from skin and IVs and surgeries and all this stuff to be healthy, to look younger, and I always think my body’s been through so much. How can I do this holistically how can I do this sustainably?

Alycia Anderson: Yeah.

Ali Stroker: ’cause the problem is for me, like add more doctors appointments to the docket.

Alycia Anderson: However, like you, I’m a performer.

Yeah.

Ali Stroker: And, I’m in front of people and I wanna look. And even more importantly, I wanna feel good.

How do I do that?

Alycia Anderson: I think it’s,prioritizing yourself with some movement and water, and this is no judgment on anybody. I’m the same, like the last thing I need is Botox in my body right now because I already have kidney infections, like all kinds of stuff.

I just don’t, I know I don’t need that stuff right now. So how can I show up as 50. Strong, feel good in my own skin with my mental health, and be proud, frankly, of the body that has powered through this life so successfully, and show that off. Be proud of it.

Ali Stroker: Yeah.

And I think, I’m so glad you brought up the health thing because I think for people with disabilities, it’s like feel like you have, it’s like I’m full. I can’t take any more.,

Like more stuff with my health, more.

I think I just wanna say reach out to people. That’s what’s worked for me is like I can’t really do the aging thing alone, you don’t have to. There are people who are ahead of you in this journey now, and we have an amazing way to reach out to people and find community. So don’t do it alone, and don’t do it like everybody else.

Do it your own way.

Alycia Anderson: Yeah, I think I’ve been living in this naive place where I’m like, you know what? When I get old, I’m gonna have mastered this disability thing, that I’m gonna be the expert and all the able bodied people are gonna be asking me how to do this. But the real reality is there is probably a middle there too.

And our bodies age and they change and it’s aggressive, and that’s what I’m finding.

Ali Stroker: Yeah. And also like more unpacking like, the fragility of what it means to be disabled and age. That’s not, that’s not, that has never been like, I have always fought against this. ” Oh, she’s fragile because she’s in a chair.”

Alycia Anderson: Me too.

Ali Stroker: So no, I’m not fragile, but I’m also getting older, which means my bones aren’t what they were, when I was 19. Okay, what does that mean? What could I be doing? What can I do? What can I mentally take on? What can I take on alone and what can I take on with support?

Alycia Anderson: And not feel less than for asking for it.

Ali Stroker: Exactly.

I think the biggest thing for me too is when I’ve started, trying to prioritize myself every day for one hour, no matter what it is, it’s just helped my mental health, I get clarity, otherwise it’s like way too much.

When do you do your hour?

Alycia Anderson: First thing in the morning.

Ali Stroker: The most sacred time for me is the sunrise. When it’s so freaking quiet that you can’t do anything else but sit.

Alycia Anderson: And I just I really try to make that my sacred time because like when the sun goes up, things start to get really like busy and I don’t prioritize myself otherwise. And then I end up at the end of the day, like stressed or having some mental health something or not feeling good.

I’m obsessed with you. I love it.

I think you are such a incredible human.

Ali Stroker: Thank you.

Alycia Anderson: And it’s not just all the things that you’ve created, but it’s your heart. It’s what you exude out without saying anything.

like you are incredible and the impact that you have with just your presence. it’s massive. Like it’s honestly massive.

Okay.

Two last questions. Motherhood, being a wife all of those things has been what you are quoted as saying in your bio one of your greatest, if not your greatest, accomplishments.

Why?

Ali Stroker: I think that it’s my favorite and greatest accomplishments because it’s where I am most myself. As a mom, you are stripped to your most vulnerable, most authentic, you are pushed the hardest ways of not having sleep and not taking care of yourself and, feeling lonely and your body’s different and your chemicals and your brain are different. And, So it’s been the hardest thing I’ve done. And then as far as being a wife, same thing. There’s, you can’t hide, there’s no hiding. And to let somebody in on all of you is, it takes courage. It’s taken a lot of courage for me to be like, yeah, you get to see these parts of me. And just been the most special kind of love because of that. And also co-parenting and living with another person. And doing, partnering and doing all the things is really hard because, no matter how similar your interests are with somebody, you come from different backgrounds.

Alycia Anderson: Yeah.

Ali Stroker: So, there’s so much to share. And then also like giving grace to yourself and your partner, because they’re gonna make mistakes and you are too. And is something that I have to remind myself every day. That I am, that I am working on all parts of me and that I’m gonna make mistakes, and that’s okay. It’s okay to not be perfect. It’s okay to not be the best, the winner every day. No, that’s not what, that’s not what this is. And that’s not what it is being a wife or a mom. And and then of course, like the love and the connection is, beyond what you could dream. It’s so much better.

Alycia Anderson: I was listening to a podcast this morning and they were talking about love. You said the word like three or four or five times right now, and I do think that what they were talking about on this podcast is love being the greatest accomplishment that you can have in the human existence, because that is like naturally where we want to be and where we win.

And so you just completely articulated that and I think those are the greatest accomplishments because one day all these other things do go away. And if you still have your family in love, like we’re good.

Ali Stroker: Yeah. And also that is, at my truest what I need and what I wanna give, and it’s so special to be able to have your own team and your own kind of family, like I’ve always wanted that. I always dreamt of that. That was, I had dreamt of that way before I dreamt of Broadway.

I wanted to be a mommy and I wanted to be married and I wanted to have a family because that was the first experience I had of love was my family. So, and I come from a really good family. And we’ve been through a lot together and so I really wanted to create that, so that it could move forward.

And, the pushing forward this kind of comes full circle, but like love can’t like end with you, it’s like something that you give on and you not pay it forward, but you continue to give that energy and that wave so that. Whether it’s your children, your husband, your family, your friends, whoever your home team is, when you give it, then they have something to give. So I guess that really is like where I’m at right now is how do I continue to love myself so that I can love everybody who mean something to me and love my career, and love my work, and love my purpose.

Alycia Anderson: And the one thing that you said too was that all you ever wanted was to be a mom and a wife. And I think that from a representation standpoint, like you are showing so many people out there that it’s possible, and that’s all I wanted too when I was younger. All I wanna do is be married.

All I wanna do is have a family all just like this the simple things, and you show that’s possible in a real way, which is pretty powerful too, honestly.

Ali Stroker: Yeah. It’s not perfect. No family or marriage or parenting, nothing’s perfect, but you do your

Alycia Anderson: Yeah.

Ali Stroker: best every day. And it’s really hard work. And like the reward is beyond what even what I could have imagined.

Alycia Anderson: Okay. So I feel like I could talk to you forever.

We had a really powerful conversation, honestly, what is a pushing forward moment to motivate our community?

I want something from your heart, like motivates you to keep going.

Ali Stroker: Yeah. It’s a Marianne Williamson quote that I love. Can I read it?

Alycia Anderson: Yes, please.

Ali Stroker: Okay. So the story behind it is that I had this taped to my binder in college.

Alycia Anderson: Oh.

Ali Stroker: And it was just a time when there was like a lot of uncertainty and like I was having to like really believe in myself.

’cause NYU was really hard and they had never worked with anybody in a chair. And I was like, blah, how am I gonna do this? So I had this on my binder. Okay, are you ready?

Alycia Anderson: Yeah.

Ali Stroker: This is Ali’s favorite quote. Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure.

Light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, and fabulous. Actually, who are you not to be? You are playing small does not serve the world. There’s nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won’t feel insecure around you. It’s not just in some of us, it’s in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.

Alycia Anderson: Oh, I love it.

Ali Stroker: That’s it’s just something that has lived with me for over 20 years.

Alycia Anderson: Powerful. Wow.

Ali Stroker: So I love it.

Alycia Anderson: Are you kidding me? This was, I feel like I’ve been like in therapy. This has been amazing. Thank you so much.

Ali Stroker: Oh my God. The best.

Alycia Anderson: And we’re gonna add all of your information, social media, website, how to work with you, hire you, I know you do, speaking to all the things. So any companies out there that are listening to this call, Ali, reach out to her. She’s the most incredible woman ever.

Ali Stroker: Oh my God. Thank you.

Alycia Anderson: Thank you so much for sharing your magic on my show.

Ali Stroker: I loved it. I loved it. I loved it. Thank you.

Alycia Anderson: Okay. Thank you so much. And thank you to our community for showing up. I know you love this one. Share it gift this episode to somebody else, and we will see you next week. This has been pushing forward with Alycia and Ali, and that is how we roll on this podcast. We will see you next week.