Title:
When My Body Made Me Stop

Subtitle:
Alycia and Corinna discuss invisible disability, internal health challenges, family support and what healing really looks like

Transcript:

Alycia Anderson: Welcome to Pushing Forward with Alycia, a podcast that gives disability a voice. Each week, we will explore topics like confidence, ambition, resilience, and finding success against all odds. We are creating a collective community that believes that all things are possible for all people. Open hearts, clear paths, let’s go.

Welcome back to Pushing Forward with Alycia. I’m Alycia, and this episode is gonna be a little different today. I have had a ton of questions about how I’m feeling since I had my little medical scare a couple weeks ago. So I thought that it would be really awesome to come on and just give a little update and share you know, a little story about mind over matter, perseverance, facing fears and honestly talk a little bit about how life can really stop you in your tracks, and how, you know, maybe sometimes that’s okay to slow down and take care of yourself a little bit.

in order to have this conversation, I have invited the hostess with the mostest of Slay and Pray, our favorite podcast,

sister podcast. What would you call it? Partner podcast?

Corinna: Co-host, co-hosted podcast.

Alycia Anderson: Co-hosted podcast. I know a lot of you are following her podcast now. Thank you so much for supporting Slay and Pray. But I decided to pass over the mic today to my sister because she is such a good host on her podcast to help me through this conversation.

And so here we are. Welcome back to the show, sissy.

Corinna: Thank you for having me. And I thought when you were talking … we were having a conversation yesterday. This is how it all came out. We were having a conversation and I said, “I can tell on your social media people are very curious how you are, and are you going to podcast about it?” And you were like, “I need to, but I don’t wanna do it alone.” Here I am.

Alycia Anderson: It’s And here she is.

Corinna: So…

Alycia Anderson: And I love her for that.

Corinna: One other thing.

Alycia Anderson: You really have become– Before we get into it, you really have become just this host of your podcast show that is just, you’re so good at it. Yeah, I listen to your show and I go, “Gosh, how do I be more like her?

Corinna: Yeah, right. Oh, stop.

Alycia Anderson: So I really

Corinna: That is such a compliment. Thank you

Alycia Anderson: So take, take away Pushing Forward, let’s see how you do with it.

Corinna: Thank you for having me, Alycia. The Alycia Anderson from Pushing Forward. So I wanted to start with a level set because you have, from your own words, been feeling very good for the last 10 years, and I want you to take us back to the moment you realized something was really wrong two weeks ago and what your body was telling you and how you went to the hospital with that information.

Alycia Anderson: I have been feeling really good for 10 years, but like good for me is no surgeries, everything’s like running well. You know, but there has been like little glimpse of potential small little signs of things going on, especially in my gut, in my intestines, like in my digestive system over the last few years.

I’ll have a moment here or there where I’m hurled over after I eat or I’m too full or something and, wrong, or indifferent, I’ll just grin and bear it and get through it and, lay under a hot pad and be like, “Okay, whatever.

Corinna: To be fair, we’re Italian, okay? So we have stomach problems. So we all do. So we’ve been like, “Oh, you must be celiac. Oh, you must be allergic to A, B, and C. Oh, try a Pepcid AC.” You could sponsor us, Pepcid. We love you. We never thought this.

Alycia Anderson: Yeah. And, you know, it could just have been too, like, “Oh, you’re just Italian. You had another belly buster, so go deal with it.”

Corinna: But yes, that’s true.

Alycia Anderson: So, yeah. So but I have been feeling pretty good. And like historically with my disability I’ve got a lot of internal stuff that goes on. Like people look at me with my disability, see the wheelchair, and they think that’s the problem. But you know, I’ve had a lot of reconstruction in my bowels, reconstruction of my bladder, one functioning kidney.

My uterus takes up most of my like belly. Like there’s just a lot that goes on inside of my body. So the invisible stuff that goes on is the harder part of my disability, and it always has been. And so we’ve had this long stretch of like 10 years, no surgery, maintenance has been good. Like, and that’s been, very successful because historically 10 years is a long time for me to not have to have any type of intervention. And so…

Corinna: I also feel like you found an infectious disease doctor who changed your life. And so it wasn’t without you struggling and finding the answers and not stopping to … Because your 30s were rough, really rough.

Alycia Anderson: Yeah.

Corinna: And your 40s were a lot easier I’m saying in quotes.

Alycia Anderson: yeah, in my 30s I had a lot of like, kidney and bladder infections that were chronic, like every six to eight weeks, antibiotics, high fevers, lots of kidney stones, lots of surgeries, like surgery after surgery after surgery. And I was working a corporate job back then. I don’t know how I got through it.

I just got used to being sick, so I didn’t even realize I was as sick as I was until I got better, and I was probably actually dangerously sick in moments during that. I just didn’t probably connect the dots out of protecting myself.

Corinna: So much so that you have immunities to many antibiotics, so from that time period. So not to downplay that you were healthy, but you had a lot of unhealthy and then we just had been riding a very nice high for a while.

Alycia Anderson: Yeah.

Corinna: Yeah.

Alycia Anderson: Yeah. So, anyways, when all this happened a couple weeks ago, like, um, I don’t know, it, it hit me, um, more emotionally than it has in the past, and I think it’s ’cause I’ve had such a long stretch of feeling air quoting, like, good. And this one really took me out. I was just working.

Like, I was working one day, just like I do at my computer, pitching speeches, answering emails, and Marty came in and he said, “Hey, do you want a carrot?” And I was like, “Okay.” And he brought me one of those big ones, you know? Like, one that you would feed a horse. Big, organic carrot. It was… And so I just sat and I…

It was probably a foot long, you know? And I just sat, and I ate the whole thing, and it was so good. It was so sweet.

Corinna: I love a sweet carrot.

Alycia Anderson: Kept going, “Wow, this is so good.” Yeah, I kept going, “This is amazing.” I’m just munching this carrot. And then maybe an hour and a half later, I started to get a stomachache and I go, “Ugh.”

Originally. And I immediately correlated it to the carrot. I was like, “Maybe I ate too much carrot. Was that too rough on my stomach? I don’t know. Oh it’ll digest.”

Corinna: Famous last words.

Alycia Anderson: Yeah. And then we made dinner, and I tried to eat dinner a little bit, and I just my stomach it kept getting worse.

This kinda just intense, I guess gassy pain at first. And then as the night progressed it hurt to touch my stomach. Like, it hurt… It was very, very painful. Curled over “Ugh,” gut-wrenching pain. And I kept saying to Marty “Oh man, I don’t know. I don’t feel very good.”

I had to take off my pants. I couldn’t have anything touching the outside of my stomach, it hurt so bad.

Corinna: That’s when you know you’re in trouble.

Alycia Anderson: I thought that it was pretty bad. So we went to bed and I just couldn’t sleep. I was up all night, curled over. And so I got up with Milo and we went and laid on the couch, and it was like Milo knew ’cause he like kept trying to get me up.

I think he wanted me to move. He was like, kept trying to get me up, bringing me toys. It was almost like he knew that my body needed to not like just sit. He was very engaged with… And he loves to sleep.

Corinna: He does.

Alycia Anderson: But anyway, like then I started to like vomit and I was like, I couldn’t keep water down, and I was like, “There’s something really wrong.”

And the next morning, like I tried to get through it and I just like by noon I was like, “There’s something wrong. Like I got, I want, gotta go into the ER.” And I went in and was there for like eight hours. It was horrible. And they did a CT scan eventually and saw that I had an obstruction in my intestines and everything was just stopped.

Like nothing could get through. Like my body wasn’t like moving or digesting or anything like that. And I was like, “Oh my God.” And I’d never been told before by any doctor ever that if you have a lot of abdominal surgeries, of which I have reconstruction, like my bladder is made out of my small intestines, like lots of reconstruction in my bowels, like I’ve had a ton, that can create scar tissue.

And the scar tissue in your intestines gets real like spider webby and sticky and, um, you have to be careful what you eat because you could get these blockages. I had no… Other than I’ve had less pain, curl over like, like during holidays when I eat too much.

Corinna: Correct, ’cause we’re Italian. Back to being Italian.

Alycia Anderson: Yeah, belly buster. Literally a belly buster. So belly blocker.

Corinna: That, that’s the right word now. Belly blocker

Alycia Anderson: Anyway, so they they tell me “We have to admit you,” and “This potentially is gonna be surgery,” which was scary to me because I’ve had so much reconstruction on my, insides that nobody wants– no doctors wanna touch me in there unless it’s life-threatening, because there’s been reconstruction of my bladder, reconstruction of my bowel. Like, my body just isn’t, like, the same as everybody else’s.

It’s got a lot of… there’s a lot of, like, area to hurt, to be unfamiliar with. So I started to get a little bit scared, but they said, “Before we go to the surgery route, we’re gonna put a tube down your nose into your throat, into your stomach, and we’re gonna start to, like, pull everything out.”

And so that started four days of, like, trying to reduce inflammation and get everything out of my system, to see if my body would start working by itself before, we had to go into surgery, which was super sketchy.

Corinna: Yeah. And on my end, you have been through so many things and so many hard situations which frankly like most people I don’t think have the strength to go through. But when we talked… So first off, you were so nonchalant. You sent me a text message and in fact, you sent it, a text message when I was recording Slay and Pray. And we paused, and my co-host’s name’s Alycia, which again, very confusing like literally all around. My co-host was…

Alycia Anderson: We’ve started to get used to it though. We’re navigating.

It much

Corinna: We’re trying our best. I was like, “My sister’s in the ER. She ate a carrot.” And she was like, “What?” And I was like, “I don’t know.” Like, why would, why do people text you, “I’m at the, I’m in the ER?”

Like, I had so many follow-up questions. So we paused recording. I called you quickly, and you were like, “They think I have a blockage.” And I was like, “Oh,” “What is that?” Literally, we… I feel blessed to have not known that for 39 years of my life. For real. But the next day when I talked to you I have to be honest with you, you were so down, so depressed, so scared.

And you were like, “I don’t want anyone to come here.” By the way, I am so far away, and that’s very difficult when problems arise. But who’s not far away is Regina, and of course Marty. Marty is like already there. But Regina is a couple of hours away, and so I was like… You’re like, “I don’t want Regina to come.

I don’t want her to have to bring Ella.” And I’m like, “Absolut-” You… I always listen to you But you sounded so distraught, I was like, “Regina, you have to go right now.”

Alycia Anderson: Oooh

Corinna: And she did. And then I was, like, panicked because no one had told Nick. No one had told Nick, our brother. So I was like, “Okay, great.

I’m gonna have to be the one to call him.” So I did, ’cause Regina was, like, packing up Ella, like getting everything ready, going to the hospital. I’m like, “Okay, I’ll call Nick. I’ll tell Nick.” We have, and I think this is another reason why, like, you were so scared. I was so scared. Nick was so upset. I was like, “Everything’s fine, but, Alycia’s in the hospital.”

He was so upset. And we were both crying. What?

Alycia Anderson: Oh, nobody told me that. Oh.

Corinna: We were were both so upset, and he was really upset. And again, I think it’s ’cause we’re very far away, and when something happens it’s… Your hands are tied. You’re like, “What do I do?” But we have a lot of trauma, I think, from, previous events with our dad, and this was so sudden and so foreign and scary that I think we were all just “What’s happening?”

Super stressed, super… I was so, like, beside myself all weekend. I was, like, keeping myself busy. You know, I’m medicated, so, like, I don’t cry. But, like. I kept feeling things, like, and I was, like, watching shows and, like, reading books and, like, playing with my kid and, like, doing all these things ’cause I was, like, so stressed about it.

But I wonder if that was also part of the reason why you were like… It was so out of nowhere, literally just randomly, and we have a lot of trauma that I think we’ve healed. But then you never quite totally heal.

Alycia Anderson: Yeah. I don’t know. I think like I usually don’t get that worried when I’m going through medical stuff ’cause it’s just part of the path, but there was just something different about this one specifically. I think it was because it wasn’t directly related to my bladder or my kidney. It wasn’t directly related to the things that I’m very familiar with going and fixing.

And it was emergency, so I was in there with doctors that didn’t know my body. They didn’t know me. And like it, you know, I’m 50. I’m going on 51. Like my body has been so strong for so long and, you know, it’s just like, I guess putting the pieces together about internally, like what is actually going on with my…

Like right now I’m having like to go through kidney stuff and like, like there’s a lot going on inside of me right now that I’m just kind of like it’s all happening at once, like uterus, kidneys, intestines. Like, you know, so there’s just a lot and, um, it made it… I don’t know. It it just made me worry and then I see Marty and he was super worried and, it was not like a little thing to have a tube put down your nose into your stomach while you’re awake and to have that thing live in.

It was super painful and yucky.

Corinna: Like a plunger or something.

Alycia Anderson: Yeah, it was sucking everything.

Corinna: What is it called? Oh my God.

Alycia Anderson: You could see carrot coming out of it.

Corinna: By the way, I’m never eating a carrot again. Truly.

Alycia Anderson: You definitely need to chew.

Corinna: A hot tip. That’s our pushing forward moment. If you’re gonna eat a carrot… do a slice maybe or a deep chew.

Alycia Anderson: Blend it, turn it into a puree.

Corinna: Boil it.

Alycia Anderson: Anything. But I think you’re so right, sis. The… what is that plunging… What is it called? The… Molly, of course, knew. She was like, “Oh.” She was like, “Those are so uncomfortable.” And I was like, “It doesn’t look good.” It was like.

It got worse over time. My throat got really dry and it was like the…, that was the worst pain. Like I kept going, “What’s your pain?” I was like, “My gut’s fine now. My throat is at a 10.”

You couldn’t drink water. You couldn’t, right? Nothing, nothing.

Corinna: For four days.

Alycia Anderson: Yeah, and so they checked me into the hospital, and one of my favorite parts about being checked into the hospital was I got into my room, and on the room they’ve got this board where they want you to write your goals, and what you do is for your career, and who your favorite people are.

Corinna: Aww.

Alycia Anderson: .. Yeah, and so she’s like saying “Who are your favorite people?” I’m like, “My husband, my dog, my sisters, my brother, my this, my that.” And then they’re like “What do you do? What’s your job?” And I’m like, “I’m a motivational speaker.” And they’re like, “Oh, wow.”

And the doctors and nurses kept coming in. “We’ve never met a motivational speaker before.”

Corinna: Oh.

Alycia Anderson: And, the whole time I’m there.

Corinna: That’s so fun.

Alycia Anderson: And then I wrote down for my goals that all I wanted to do was I wanted my body to heal on its own so I didn’t have to have surgery. Like, that was my goal while I was there to like somehow manifest like healing vibes in this strong body that is, has overcome so much, and I know it will continue to, to just do that.

And and then the four days began. But I just didn’t want… I don’t know. Like I, I don’t know why I didn’t want anybody there.

Corinna: It was so unusual too. And then I, as soon as Regina got there, you, I could tell you were healing. Like you were you were sounding better. You were like, you were just all around better.

Alycia Anderson: She got in bed with me, and there’s just something about your twin, like getting in the fetal position.

Corinna: And just snuggling you. Yeah.

Alycia Anderson: It’s very nurturing, you know? And it’d be the same if you were there too, or Nick. Like, you know, Marty got in bed with me a couple times. But when Regina came, like I think I was there 24 hours before she came, or going on 48, something like that.

And you know, I hadn’t gone to the bath- like I couldn’t go number two. Like I was really, you know … Like, like things w- were not moving, and it was just like, like my stomach hurt really bad. It was just very like uncomfortable. And, um, she came and like she was gonna bring Ella, and I had this tube down my nose.

And I just like went through this panic about Ella … And this is gonna sound so bad probably to all the disability advocates that are out there right now. And I’m gonna be like really vulnerable with this, I guess. But like my niece and nephew see me through a lens right now of strength, and beauty, and possibility.

And they don’t see my disability as anything that is like, w- weak, or less than, or something that you have to … You know, they just look at it as like part of me.

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Alycia Anderson: Don’t guess. Don’t wait. Go check.

And I just felt so vulnerable for her to see me in the hospital with this tube down my nose. I thought it was gonna freak her out ’cause it was freaking me out every time I saw

myself. And this stuff being sucked out of my body, and just, and I just didn’t want her to like … I don’t know. Like I didn’t want her image, my image to change in her eyes, and that was my own like, fear, I think, of probably my own internalized ableism, honestly, of my disability and like what that means.

Because I know there’s parts of it that are challenging, and like medical. And I don’t share that a lot, and I probably need to be sharing more. But.

Corinna: I think that’s normal for you as the adult to want her to see you as strong and capable and healthy and, to make her feel safe. But there is another aspect of, I think it’s really important, especially for family to … And, Ella’s getting to an age too where people around you need to be able to understand the things that you need and how to take care of you when you need it.

If not every day, not ev- not even every month. But it’s a really important lesson for her because, eventually, like she’s gonna wanna take care of you and…

Alycia Anderson: and like I’m already seeing that. Like, when we go shopping or something, like she insists to help me with my wheelchair. She wants to pull it together. Like she, And so like, and I let her of course do those things. I know that all that is really great lessons. I guess there was just, it the image that the nieces and nephews see me in right now is so pure.

You know? And I hope it always remains like that, but they are not jaded about disability at all right now. Still, even… And they’re at the age that they’re gonna start to understand that, and so I think it, it’s just like to have those relationships that are so pure is such… Like I wanna protect that selfishly for me, you know?

‘Cause I don’t have relationships like that in my life.

Corinna: That’s very understandable, very relatable.

Alycia Anderson: Yeah. But she was mad, like she went to her grandma’s for the first day when Regina came, and she was mad. Like she wanted to, she really wanted to come. And so Regina brought her the next day and, she was just so happy to see me.

She walks in and she’s just “That tube doesn’t bother me.” And she sat with me on my bed, and she gave me peanut butter and jelly slippers and, she showed me pictures and like we she just tried to make me feel better. And so you’re right, like I need to not try to hide those things.

Alycia Anderson: And then she had a major like life lesson ’cause the bowels and everything started to move that day, which was a miracle. But it was a shit show. Like literally.

Corinna: But you know what?

Alycia Anderson: It was like, “Hallelujah. We are having a shit show and it is, things are moving,”

Corinna: You know what? I remember my first experience with you like that. We have to… You have to have them. That is a part of your life. And so us, as people, a part of your life, have to experience those things with you, and that doesn’t make me think any other way about you. Never, not one time.

Alycia Anderson: Yeah.

Corinna: It just makes me more aware of things that you go through. So it just helps our perspective and, it’s important that your twin’s daughter can do it too. It’s really important.

Alycia Anderson: Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And she was like all in, all in with Regina.

Corinna: Yeah. No, she is.

Alycia Anderson: Just a nurturer.

Corinna: And you know what? I feel like if my son was there, he would’ve been like, “Oh, no.” Absolutely not. Mommy, I’m going. So like the right person at the right time,

Alycia Anderson: Yeah. So I like all of that, you know? And then when they were gonna leave that night to go home, ’cause the next day was Monday and she had to go to school, like she just kept saying to Regina, “I don’t wanna leave yet.” And she just wanted to stay in the hospital with me.

Corinna: Spend the night.

Alycia Anderson: ” I don’t wanna go, I don’t wanna go, I don’t wanna go.”

Yeah, so you know, it was a lesson for me that I need to… Allowing people to be there for you is really important. It’s important for healing, it’s important for them, it’s important for you, and it’s so much easier to close people out than let them in and it’s selfish to not let people in.

It’s a, If you don’t let people in when they wanna help you, it’s being selfish.

Corinna: I mean…

Alycia Anderson: Don’t think so?

Corinna: I don’t know. I just think you were really depressed. And so I think sometimes decisions we make when we’re really down, having someone you can talk to and be like, “This just does not sound like you. I know you. You’re stressed, you’re d- depressed, you’re very scared.

This is not you, and you’re not making the right decision.” And so there are … That’s why it’s important to have close relationships, I think. It doesn’t mean that you’re selfish for not letting people in, it’s just you didn’t have the capacity to think of others when you were, like, dealing with the tube in your stomach and the pain, and you were on, morphine.

You were, like, flying high. That’s why there’s others around. But I’m glad…

Alycia Anderson: And then a shout out to Marty too, like he’s such a really great partner, especially when I’m going through these things, like he shows up big and he, advocates for me, and he holds my hand, and he wipes my butt. He like does a lot for me when he’s really worried.

Like I know that like we’re both so strong for each other and we’re so important for each other, and when one of us gets sick, and most of the time it’s me. I know how worried he gets because, the worst case scenario is detrimental for either one of us, and I hate to see him like worry and be tired and all of those things, and he just like, you know, he was just back and forth from the hospital over and over and over and over and just bringing me flowers and taking really good care of me and you know.

So like he really makes me not be alone too, which I’m really like grateful and lucky for sure.

Corinna: Yeah, he’s so great. He always…

Alycia Anderson: Poor guy, he’s been through, he’s been through a lot with our marriage because of my health, like he’s been through a lot. Like it’s gotta be traumatic for him for sure.

Corinna: I also feel like he’s so great too with like updates and like contacting us and letting us know what’s going on. Like we go back into like our… We just haven’t, you just haven’t been sick for a really long time like this. I feel like the last time I remember you this sick, you were, again, every time you go to Colorado, you gotta stop going there.

Alycia Anderson: Oh my God, that’s an interesting.

Corinna: I just, I personally think no more. I’m sure Colorado, like you’re a great place, but not for my sister because the last time you went there you had sepsis and it was like very serious and very scary and I feel like obviously a thousand things have happened since then, but that was like… have you been hospitalized since then? I don’t think so?

Alycia Anderson: I don’t think so. I haven’t put those two and two together. That’s weird.

Corinna: It’s just probably like timing. But remember you were feeling sick? By the way, you have been sick for … You had a cold or a flu or something. You were sick the whole month of May. And then you were like, “I have to go speak.” And I was like, “You shouldn’t go there if you’re sick.

The last time you were in Colorado sick you had sepsis. It was really bad.” And you were like no, I’ll be fine.” I was like, “Okay.”

Alycia Anderson: I haven’t the two and you together.

Corinna: Next time I say that, you’ll listen. Do not go there again. Anyway…

Yeah. Anyway, I I forget what I was gonna say. I was gonna say… Was it about Colorado and sepsis? Okay, great. That was a rough, that was a, that was bad. That was a scary, really scary.

Alycia Anderson: Anyway I think I think what was bringing me down too is I had to postpone an event because of this. This is the first time I’ve been sick as an entrepreneur where I don’t have a company, a boss like paid leave. I don’t have a team behind me that can fill in and there was a… You know, it was my first time kind of like worrying about my business, keeping things moving.

Like it’s busy time right now for bookings and like, you know, making sure the year is stabilized with income. And so that part was really hard for me to be in the hospital and stop. Like literally stop working. Stop working, stop emailing, stop social medias, stop all of it. Stop pitching and, um…

But I needed to stop. Since I’ve been like home, like I’m just so much more

calm, and sometimes like I feel like I’m, like my body’s “Will you just stop for a minute? Like you’re going at too high of a tempo all the time.” All the time.

Corinna: You know what else I was, like, really touched by was you… I knew that you were feeling better because you did an Instagram post and every photo had words, and I was like, “That had to have taken her four hours.” I was like, “You’re definitely feeling better.” But the amount of comments on that po- I I was like floored.

I don’t know why I was floored, but just the nicest comments and I’m like a big Ali Stroker fan. Every time you interview someone like that who I’m like really familiar with, I’m like, “Why can’t I be on in the background?” But…

Alycia Anderson: Oh.

Corinna: She said the nicest thing to you. She said something like, “Get better. We really need you.”

And I just was like, ” Oh, man.” Anyway, there were al- tons of messages with that sentiment, but…

Alycia Anderson: Shout out to everybody who…

Corinna: Hundreds of comments.

Alycia Anderson: Yeah, there was like, there was hundred, there was… if you put like the three posts together, it was thousands. Like it was a lot of engagement.

Corinna: That, yeah, LinkedIn. The, I’m not even talking about LinkedIn, I’m just talking about Instagram.

Alycia Anderson: That is a shout-out to, like, my community for the love and support and, like, backing me when I go down like that. Like, I was really like, “Wow, this is…” I didn’t expect it to take off the way that it did as well. I was just like, ” Well, I haven’t posted for three days. Like, people are gonna wonder where I am.”

Corinna: And you know what? By the way, nobody probably was wondering, right?

Alycia Anderson: I know.

Corinna: That’s the thing. It’s u- it’s us ’cause we’re very go driven. And you notice it, but they probably didn’t notice it.

Alycia Anderson: Totally.

Corinna: To your point of calm, slowing down.

Alycia Anderson: Yeah, and not feeling like you need to put, like, do every day, every something, you know? And, um, those posts were an interesting, like, little test too. Like, people want you to be personal, you know? Like, that was personal stuff, so…

Corinna: I feel like I’m so proud of you too for being vulnerable to talk about some of the stuff that you, I have never heard you talk publicly about. And I think that every time you do, not to sound like woo-woo, but like every time you do it h- it does help someone. Be- seriously because you’re so open about it, I can be like, “I am medicated,” and I say it all the time.

And people will tell me like, “I’m so glad you like normalized that.” I’m like I gotta have it.” So it’s like you set a standard for me to be open.

Alycia Anderson: But I feel like my standard’s pretty low. I’m getting better at it, but like…

Corinna: That’s not true.

Alycia Anderson: Internal stuff has, the internal stuff has been so embarrassing.

Corinna: I know.

Alycia Anderson: I don’t wanna talk about an incontinent bladder before it was replaced. I don’t wanna talk about bowel, regimens and incontinence and, like needing to manage things.

I don’t want to talk about those things…

Corinna: I understand.

Alycia Anderson: But those are the hard things to get through the day, and while all of that is very under control, when the rug gets pulled out from underneath you, it turns into a nightmare. Like a

Corinna: Full nightmare. And I do think there are so many community members whose children are going through that or they went through that. And…

Alycia Anderson: For sure.

Corinna: That does not take away the embarrassment you feel about that. But I do think it, every time you talk about it, it helps to heal you a little bit.

Alycia Anderson: Yeah. I’m following a few people on Instagram that talk a lot about bowel chronic illness, d- illnesses, and they’re just so matter of fact about shit happens.

Corinna: Truly.

Alycia Anderson: But I think these things are so much more common than we talk about.

Corinna: Oh my God, yes.

Alycia Anderson: For people.

Corinna: I agree.

Alycia Anderson: And this is the most I’ve ever talked about it actually.

Corinna: Yeah. And we’ll see what makes it to the final cut, but proud of you. I’m proud of you for talking about it.

Alycia Anderson: Thank you. I think I can do it ’cause you’re here with me, but when I– when Ella and Regina were there and I went number two, and then they left ’cause we’re… The doctors were still kind of waiting to see if my bowels were gonna start working. Nothing was coming out. Nothing. And so for that to happen, it was really amazing, and then I had to, like, go through all these other tests to make sure that, like, fluids were running through clearly, that, you know, I had to go through another 24, 48 hours of that.

And, you know, like, the morning that I, The doctor came in one morning before Marty came. Regina had left the day before, and we were, like, making sure things were moving before they were gonna let me go home. And the doctor came in. My throat is killing me. This tube has been in my nose for four days.

Like, I’m s- starving. Like, I’m thirsty. So thirsty. I have never been so thirsty in my entire life, ever. Like, I was sneaking ice chips. I was not supposed to have anything. Sneaking them. I was like, s- terrible. But the doctor came in and she goes all the contrast is going through and everything’s working.

You wanna get that thing out of your nose?” And I go, “Yeah.” And she’s like, “All right. You wanna do it together right now?” And I go, “You’re gonna take it out right now?” And she goes, “Yep, let’s do it.” It was before Marty got there, before anything. And she came in, and she was like, “Do you…” She’s like, “Do you wanna do it?”

I’m like, “No way. Do I wanna pull that out of my own nose?” But she came and she pulled it out. It was unpleasant, but I was very happy to get it out. And then all I w- Marty was coming in the morning just to, like, say hi, and I was like, “I’m gonna surprise Marty.” And he got to the hospital and I texted everybody, like, “The tube’s out,” you know.

“Don’t tell Marty. I’m gonna surprise him. My body’s working. My body healed by itself.” And Marty got there and he rolled in. He didn’t even notice at first.

Corinna: Love him.

Alycia Anderson: I go, ” Do you notice anything?” And he goes, “Oh my God, the tube is out.” And I broke down sobbing. My body healed by itself. We did it. My body healed by itself.

We did it. I can’t believe we did it. My body healed by itself. Thank you, God. Seriously. So it was one of the most amazing moments of my life, honestly. I was I’ve never been so grateful. I was so grateful. So grateful.

Corinna: So post obstruction. I’m trying to think of the right… I’m trying to think of the medical term. Post-carrot. How do you feel like, number one, your life has changed? I know we were talking yesterday about some dietary, some sad dietary things happening as well as some different perspective and reflection moments of slowing down a little bit.

So do you wanna talk about that a little bit?

Alycia Anderson: I mean, yeah, right now I’m on soft foods and no fiber. So the doctor’s like, “Eat everything that doctors tell you to not eat.” White bread, like chicken, oh, no, hardly any vegetables unless they’re super, super cooked. You know, so like I’m dying for a salad, and I don’t know when I’m gonna ever be able to eat that again.

But like I’m dealing with that right- You know, and I like to work out and be healthy, so it’s been pretty difficult for me.

Corinna: Today. How did that go?

Alycia Anderson: I did work out today. It, it was hard going back,

But…

Corinna: Did it feel good after?

Alycia Anderson: It was good to, yeah.

Corinna: I can’t believe you’re back at the gym after that.

Alycia Anderson: And I think that…

Corinna: It’s just a, it’s… just…

Alycia Anderson: Well its been two weeks.

Corinna: I know, but it’s just incred- amazing Oh, no. But like looking at you now and seeing you two weeks ago, like it’s just a miracle.

Alycia Anderson: Our bodies are amazing things. They’re powerful.

Corinna: Very.

Alycia Anderson: Our body, our bodies are really resilient, and they can really overcome a lot if we believe it, if we’re, like, in the mindset to just go fight, and even if you’re not in the mindset to fight, your body’s still gonna fight for you, when you have weak moments.

And what…

Corinna: So true.

Alycia Anderson: I’ve learned is I wanna, I wanna slow down a little bit. Like, I wanna enjoy smelling the roses, taking pictures of flowers, like, going to the… All I wanted to do was go to the beach and feel the ocean air when I was in there. Like, I just wanted to be at the ocean. Like, I…

Corinna: Have you been?

Alycia Anderson: I wanna… And no.

Um, but I just want to enjoy my life. Like, I wanna prioritize my family and time enjoying things that I wanna do, you know? ‘Cause it, it was, you know, every once in a while I have these moments of like, “Oh, man, like I’ve had a really, really amazing life.” Like, I’m really grateful for my life, and I want to experience so much more of it, but I want to enjoy it while I can, while I’m strong and able and fit and healthy.

And when that’s taken away from you for a minute, you go, “Oh,” it makes you question a lot of things. So…

Corinna: And the things…

Alycia Anderson: I’m just like… What?

Corinna: And like the things that you thought were important all of a sudden literally mean nothing.

Alycia Anderson: Yeah. I mean, my work doesn’t mean nothing. It’s just I pour into it. I pour into others. Like, I pour into until it’s it, until my work is healthy, overflowing, plentiful, and sometimes it leaves me like tired, and needing to rest. So I need to allow myself to do that. And that’s my fault. That’s my fault. I don’t have good boundaries.

Corinna: I mean like things… I don’t mean work. Like things we bitch about, like stupid things, not like work, like I don’t know, dumb shit, dumb stuff. Something negative happens during the day, or the Instacart person gave you the wrong order, or just dumb stuff.

Alycia Anderson: Oh yeah. Yeah.

Corinna: Yeah stuff that doesn’t matter, and all of a sudden you’re like number one is my health, number two is my family, and number three is my livelihood,” really.

At the end of the day. Nothing means more than your family. That’s how we were raised anyways, and so I’m sure that for others that your number one is different. But in our family, that’s the most important thing.

Alycia Anderson: So that’s the story and I’m sticking to it.

Corinna: We are so happy that you are flowing through normally now.

Alycia Anderson: The gut is in full effect.

Corinna: That’s right. So if we had to l- have you leave off with a final pushing forward, what would it be today?

Alycia Anderson: Mmmm, my pushing forward moment today would be to believe in the resiliency of your mind, body, and soul, and to go out and smell a rose and feel the ocean air on your face. Enjoy life.

Corinna: Yeah. Enjoy life. I think that’s a beautiful pushing forward moment. And Alycia, thank you for allowing me to talk you through this conversation. I have really appreciated it. As someone who was scared to death a few weeks ago, this has been very healing for me as well. And if I can quote you, which I quote you to you all the time, ” That’s just how we roll.”

Alycia Anderson: That is. I’m working up to have you come back and do more guest hosting ’cause you did excellent. I loved every second of it.

Corinna: Thank you, sis.

Alycia Anderson: Thank you for coming on. And shout out to Slay & Pray. Go follow, download, subscribe, support my sister Corinna. Her podcast will make you laugh, giggle, and feel so good.

Corinna: By the way, it’s just all about television. It’s nothing… It’s very lighthearted. So if you wanna, if you want a good laugh, come hang out with us.

Alycia Anderson: Thanks for doing Sissy. I love you.

Corinna: Love you so much.

Alycia Anderson: Thanks everybody. We’ll see you next week.