Title:
NDEAM 2024: Chris Ruden, Powerlifting Champion and Motivational Speaker
Subtitle:
“I’m a one handed guy living in a two handed world” – Disability Advocate Chris Ruden
Transcript:
Alycia Anderson: Welcome to pushing forward with Alycia a podcast that gives disability a voice each week. We will explore topics like confidence, ambition, resilience, and finding success against all odds. We are creating a collective community that believes that all things are possible for all people. Open hearts, clear paths. Let’s go.
Welcome back to Pushing Forward with Alycia. I’m Alycia Anderson. Y’all this episode, I’ve got my friend and my colleague in the disability inclusion speaking space, he has a multi layer disabled experience he’s an incredible global keynote speaker. He’s one of the faces of the movement that is very – . he was on The Rock’s hit show, the Titan games. He is an author.
Newest book is coming out September 4th called The Art of Changing Course.
Chris Rudin, welcome to the show. Thank you for gracing us with your amazing presence.
Chris Ruden: I need you to follow me around and just introduce me like that to like the barista or anything I’m ordering because I need that, that kind of energy and confidence.
I appreciate you for having me, and I appreciate you for chasing me for the last, maybe what, seven, 10 years. So I think we’re finally here. Um, and I’m just excited to have this conversation.
Alycia Anderson: I am too. And I’m so grateful that our paths have crossed. And we’ve created not only a camaraderie in the space, but a true friendship at this point. So I’m Super stoked to be telling your story. how did you get to the point of breaking records and power lifting all of these amazing accomplishments?
Chris Ruden: So people see me now, whether it’s social media, all the followers, the magazines, the TV show, anything like that on paper. I’m so cool. You know, but in real life, like I, I really started living my life like what? Seven years ago and I’m 33, you know, I have a super cool prosthetic arm. If you can see this, there’s a black prosthetic arm with carbon fiber and it’s like super bad ass, you know, but I didn’t get that until I was 27.
So the majority of my life, I hid my disability. I have two fingers on my left hand and a shorter left arm. I was born limb different, and then they had to amputate the majority of the bones in my hand and fingers, so I consider myself a limb different amputee. A lot of people don’t understand what limb difference is, so I say amputee to make it a little simpler, because if you’re in the disability space, you know, improper identification is an epidemic, so, I grew up in a rough area and my parents never really had money, but they did their best, I was bullied and made fun of for the way I was born. And that’s, let’s be honest, it’s something I couldn’t control. That was super frustrating. I, would walk into rooms full of people and constantly just feel alone, like no one understood. And I refuse to let anyone understand because I wanted to keep that, that sense of chaos. There was like peace and chaos where I was like, I am broken and I will keep this identity. You look at synonyms for disability, like weak or broken or useless or helpless. And a kid, I was like, that’s, that’s what I am. And I chose the language of broken of the condition I had. But I remember being in middle school and trying to get my first ever girlfriend. Let’s be honest, no guy really knows how to talk to a woman anyways, in general, let alone at 13. And I remember walking up to her and my friend started laughing at me and I’m like, I stopped, you’re going to mess this up, you know? And I turned back around and she’s making fun of my hand. Okay. With the stapler calling me claw boy and she humiliated me in front of my entire class. I shoved my hand in my pocket and. I kept it there for 17 years, 17 years. I hid my hand in a pocket, in a glove, a backpack and long sleeves. When I say I hit it, I almost got arrested in Washington, DC, visiting the monument because the security told me to take my hand out and I refused. I refused to have my hand out of my pocket until I was 27 years old.
Alycia Anderson: that just shows how much impact Hiding who you are fully can have in your life, in your emotions, in, I’m sure in your education, in the things that you can accomplish. And it can actually almost be dangerous. Like that’s a very interesting story that we, we as disabled people can be so afraid to show who we are, that we’re willing to risk things that other people would not.
So, wow.
Chris Ruden: There was definitely a level of, uh, I created a new identity. Being competitive was my version of showing. Maybe the world that I was good enough, but constantly showing myself like, Hey, maybe you can think I’m good enough now.
Alycia Anderson: Wow.
Chris Ruden: Never enough. Because I didn’t believe that what I had to start with was enough. And I know a lot of people with disability know what it’s like to be like, if I just had a different body, if I just had a different mind, if I just had something I don’t have, then I would be happy. And I believe that. I subscribed to that conditional philosophy for so long, it didn’t kill me, but it numbed me out to the point where life just, There was no joy or happiness or sadness.
It just existed. And I was just getting through it. And I just thought that’s what I had to live like because I have a disability until started questioning, like maybe there’s more to life than being broken.
Alycia Anderson: Was there a turning point in your life, where the light bulb went off or the confidence came in or the courage or whatever to start to lean in to who you are. And start to share it with the world.
Chris Ruden: I started speaking. I, wanted to be a lawyer originally because I loved arguing with people. And I realized that was a bad reason to become a lawyer. Um, so I switched to exercise because I started getting into like. Asking more questions. After I got diagnosed with diabetes, I was like, there has to be more than being a disabled diabetic kid. has to be more to life than this. looking back, I, it’s crazy. I’ve developed the concepts that I now teach those moments that I didn’t even know I was developing lessons. I was going through them. So I couldn’t teach them yet. And then I started replacing certainty with like, okay, but I did, what would that look like? So I started going to the gym and I fell in love with exercise. I’m like, maybe I can help other people. I’m a one handed guy living in a two handed world. Maybe I can help other people exercise too. I started getting my degree and I was like, I should start speaking about this kind of stuff. I’m still hiding my hand, maybe I could speak as a person showing my vulnerability and authenticity of like, I’m on this journey too, but I can teach you what I’ve learned. In speaking, I met a little girl in the diabetes space that was It was probably the catalyst for why I’m here today, She and her family, they were just diagnosed with diabetes and I was at the speaking event. There was like a thousand people to hear me speak, you know. She followed me around like a puppy. We just, she was so cool. She was like eight years old at the time. bought her a little hat and stuff, and, uh, she was just wrapped to me the whole time. She was walking on my left side, which at the time I always hid my hand. I was really weird about having anyone on my left side, but for some reason it was okay with her. She grabbed my hand over the glove that I was hiding my hand. And I like everything about me just froze everything about me was like but silent panic if you know what that’s like, and she looked at me and she’s like, it’s okay, you don’t have to hide around me. Dude, that broke me in the best way. Like 1000 people were there to hear me speak, but she was the only one who actually saw me. And from there, I was like, if she can see the value in me, like, why can’t I be enough for myself? Like I’m enough for this girl who just looked up to me the whole time.
And I get chills thinking about it
Alycia Anderson: crying?
Chris Ruden: I’m, it’s, it’s what started the questioning to be like, maybe, you know, Not certainty. I wasn’t like, yes, I’m confident now. That’s not how that works. I’m even as a guy, I feel guilty that I wasn’t confident. Maybe I should have been more masculine.
Maybe I should, I’m the tattoo guy. I got muscles and the swoopy hair and the cool look, you know, maybe I should have been like, no, my journey and my timeline wasn’t, I wasn’t prepared until that moment. I ended up making a video. Of taking my glove off for the first time. I posted that video for my coming out moment, you know, just for me. I went to sleep and I woke up to millions of views on YouTube,
Alycia Anderson: Wow.
Chris Ruden: hundreds and hundreds of messages from people all around the world. And my life forever changed. Yeah, I’ve been on a TV show at the rock, which that happened kind of in line with that video. A lot of things happened from that. But the best thing that ever happened to me was. being authentic enough to finally be myself or find who I could be and stop being the shell of a person and having people receive that like having the confidence and courage to do that there is no part of me that was ready. No part but I’m so glad I did it, even though I wasn’t ready. You know, was even relieving that every time I talk about that, it’s just, it’s so much for a person who has a disability take a risk and be seen as themselves and not what they think society wants them to be
Alycia Anderson: you talked about the change in the course. Of your process and acceptance. Like, can we talk about your book a little bit and the art of changing course?
Chris Ruden: Is that what my book’s called? I just don’t remember what it looks
Alycia Anderson: is that
Chris Ruden: just not sure. Oh my god, how did that get there?
Alycia Anderson: like, am I saying it wrong? Hold it up. Let’s read it clearly. If anyone is watching, um, and, or the visual description is Chris is holding a yellow, blue, white book and it is title titled the art of changing course. And tell us.
Chris Ruden: The reason I wrote this book is because for so long I felt stuck. And I find that so many people feel stuck. They’re in this purgatory of it’s not as good as they want it to be, but it’s not bad enough to change. So they stay stuck. In, in life purgatory and quality of life purgatory. is a process of 17 years with myself, with companies I’ve worked with all around the globe, uh, from fortune 500 companies to individuals, how to get unstuck and solve your real problems. is such a huge motivator of change. And there’s so many different forms of change to manage, whether it happens to you. Maybe it’s an acquired disability or amputation. Maybe it’s you lose your job. Maybe it’s a relationship. Maybe something happens pandemic, it’s a change that you need to be the catalyst of, you know, things aren’t going as you’d like and something needs to change.
And that’s something is you it’s whether it’s your actions, your language, your beliefs. book is a very clear cut process. That’s not talked about on taking people through the change of language. Basically change your language, change your life.
Like you said. Yeah, limb, different amputee, type one diabetic, autoimmune disease, all this we’re humans first and we deserve connection and we deserve change. Change happens, but let’s make it happen in a little bit better way, or let’s just make it suck a little bit less.
That’s my approach.
Alycia Anderson: I love that. And I can’t wait to read it. Let’s give you a plug.
Chris Ruden: So my books available on Amazon, Barnes and Noble books, a million Indiegogo and porch light, all of those, you can grab a copy of that. There’s also, uh, an audio book, which is the 1st time we’re talking about this. There’s an audio book being released at the end of September. I have the tentative dates I’m very excited about that.
So whether you want to listen to the book, read the book on Kindle or have a Hard copy, either one is available. And if you have any questions about it, or you ever want to talk about it, feel free to send me a DM on Instagram or an email. I’m, I’m the person that talks to everybody. So feel free
Alycia Anderson: And if you ever want to hire him to come on your stages and talk about it and do his thing, that’s an upsell right there
Chris Ruden: Yeah, part of what I specialize in is, uh, change management. And I work with organizations around change, resilience and disability inclusion, similar to Alycia. So, um, I just love being able to help people because corporations are people too, and we forget that.
Alycia Anderson: You have this whole very inspiring, motivating and action oriented platform that is also so much bigger than just disability too.
Chris Ruden: The goal for me is to get rid of DEI and inclusion and just have a world where we’re just human together, you know, I, and until then I will speak in DEI, but specific around disability and inclusion. there’s no disability inclusion, there’s no and inclusion. Inclusion can exist without disability.
So part of my job is to help people see that we’re all interconnected. And we, there’s this intersectional bit about us that we have to acknowledge, whether it’s the limb, different amputee or the crossing of race with disability and sex and everything in between, we have to acknowledge those. differences. And that’s the universal approach of humanity. There’s no universal fix to an individual problem. So I’m trying to go one organization by one, one person by one help us have better conversations to have better outcomes, which is just better quality of life.
Alycia Anderson: okay.
So do you want to talk about breaking records for a minute?
Chris Ruden: On paper. Super cool.
Alycia Anderson: very cool. So let’s put it on paper and on the pod, if you don’t mind.
Chris Ruden: Absolutely.
Alycia Anderson: So you’ve broken records powerlifting, like 606 pounds and a deadlift, so our listeners should go Google you and look at some of your videos can you talk a little bit about your mindset, using some of those tools to achieve?
Chris Ruden: Absolutely.
I was like, all right. I’m a one handed guy living in a 200 world. These machines are made, not for me. could I do this? I got more curious and I ended up creating this hook device that I wrap around my wrist I. ended up. Deadlifting 675
Alycia Anderson: Oh my God. My number was way off.
Chris Ruden: was 606 was the first record. I broke my, my last one was 675 pounds. And it was in front of 15, 20, 000 people at the Arnold sports festival. I was the only person with a disability and diabetes at that event. And I’ll never forget going up to that bar in front of all those people.
And people were just like, well, what is this guy doing? And he’s going to clean the bar. Is he going to move something? And when I lifted that thing, the, the roar. Was just, was a reminder that everything I did, every mistake I made, every setback, every moment I was like down and out and gave up. I didn’t quit on myself.
Long term like short term quitting. Yeah. That’s cool. You’re tired of stuff. You’re like, I’m over it. You can be over things, but you have to find another way. And I’m so thankful that I did because I ended up breaking that one unofficial world record, 675. Uh, and then four state records in squat bench and deadlift.
Alycia Anderson: Yeah,
Chris Ruden: you know, with the bar, I actually balanced the bar on my residual limb. I don’t use any adaptive device. I just found a way to do it myself.
And that led me to helping other people, limb, different amputees, kids, and adults figure out how adaptive exercise works. And I, that was a huge part of my career for a long time.
When I got out of school, working with people with disabilities around lifting weights, which. Regardless of what limb adaptation you need, there’s a way. There is a way, and we’ve done so many camps with kids, uh, deadlift and archery and fishing and so many adaptations. Somewhere you going to adaptive fashion, there are adaptations we can do because listen, society didn’t come to us, so we go to them until they come to us.
I’m not waiting, and I encourage you not to wait. There’s a way and we can find it together. I can help, there’s a way, I found my way.
Alycia Anderson: you did.
And that leads me to a quote that you said on the Titan games. You say limitations are self imposed,
paint the picture of how the games were for you. And then please talk about what that quote means to you.
Chris Ruden: Absolutely. So, uh, they actually reached out to me and 200, 000 people applied to be on this show. There’s the rocks TV show season one. I did not apply, you know, they reached out to me and I thought it was sketchy. I’m like, I’m not taking no clothes off on camera. What are you guys doing? You want me to get on a video call?
I’m like, uh, uh, um, They invited me to try out for the show. So it was a three day combine 12 hour days where we had to do every sort of obstacle you could imagine. I’m the only person with a disability there. So I’m like, this is a fantastic opportunity, but I doubt I’m going to make it, but that’s where that doubt started to creep in again. I went home I got a call and they’re like, Hey, we chose 15 guys and 15 girls. You’re one of one of the
Alycia Anderson: Wow.
Chris Ruden: you’re, you’re going to be on the show. And they’re like, also we chose three guys to be on all the cover, uh, all the artwork, all of the billboards. You’re, you’re one of
Alycia Anderson: Oh my gosh.
Chris Ruden: So if you Google Titan game, season one, you’ll see me, my buddy tank, uh, and a few other people behind the rock. For Titan game season long, I was on all the billboards across America and in Asia and, uh, I competed. I lost my episode, but I was the only one able to share their message.
The rock came down and hugged me and it was like such a surreal moment. But for me, it wasn’t about like, I won the second. I decided that I was good enough to be on that
Alycia Anderson: Hmm.
Chris Ruden: Not about being on the show. Like, I lost my episode. I’m not no participation trophies. But I won the main goal of showing them. world that broken or useless or helpless.
I’m enough, and I, I, I truly did win, you know, uh, I said limitations are self imposed and I’ve said that for a long time. I always step out here, uh, and say, my disability is not self imposed. My is not self imposed. Your disability is not self imposed.
Societal barriers on us are not self imposed. But what I’m talking about is our responsibility. And it’s not just our responsibility, but if you broke that word up into like response ability, like our ability to respond. We have that ability. And when you tell yourself you don’t have that ability, that is a limitation.
And that is a -self limitation. Society is not coming to me fast enough. So I’m going to find a way to get to
Alycia Anderson: Hmm.
Chris Ruden: And that I refuse to accept any limitation because if there’s a problem you can do something about, you don’t have a problem at all.
Alycia Anderson: Hmm.
Chris Ruden: If there’s a problem you can’t do something about. That’s not your problem to face.
Alycia Anderson: Mm.
Chris Ruden: the only problems that exist are the ones that, what can you do right now to make it a little bit better? And if it’s, if you can’t do anything, then don’t do anything. If you can’t, what, what does that help? So I started changing my mindset around focus on what I can control. And that’s what I decided to focus on because everything else zapped me of my energy and my quality of life. And easier said than done, of course, of course, it’s really hard, but better done than said, you know, it’s, it’s hard to wake up and go to work.
It’s hard to do a lot of things, but we still find a way to do them. started putting my energy choices and beliefs into In a place that served me better.
Alycia Anderson: Mm. I love that. And what’s the alternative, you know what I mean? If you don’t
Chris Ruden: Unfortunately, there are alternatives. It’s just, it leads to a life where you feel, you feel like you’re not capable. And while I, maybe I can’t count to 10 on my hands, I’m capable,
Alycia Anderson: Mm hmm.
Chris Ruden: maybe differently capable. Maybe I have to adapt, but I’m not really adapting because disability is normal. no adaptation.
This is just how I, how I live. You know, everyone is, everyone is different to some degree. So I don’t think. I don’t think there is another alternative and I don’t give myself that alternative because I feel like for me to help a lot of people. I have to help myself think better. And that’s where I start there’s never a moment where things are just easy, but there are moments where things don’t have to be harder. And I’m like, I just don’t want to make it harder on myself.
Alycia Anderson: Do we miss anything?
Chris Ruden: I think we had an amazing conversation. But, uh, I just hope that anyone listening value from what they need and just opens up the curiosity instead of the certainty, be more curious instead of certain and be willing to change course when you need to.
Alycia Anderson: Um, we end with the pushing forward moment.
Do you have a mantra or something that you live by that you could share?
Chris Ruden: You teach best what you need to learn most. I think if we started taking the advice, we’re so willing to give other people, we do a lot better. Um, someone comes to you for advice on a specific situation. You’ll have the best advice. You know, you know exactly what to do. You put yourself in that same situation.
Oh, well, this is different. This is different. Yeah. Because there’s risk involved now and you’re there’s fear of failure and feel of rejection and all of these other things. Um, Be honest with yourself and see what is it that you’re doing on a daily basis that is helping you and what is it that you’re doing on a daily basis that’s hurting you. If you can have that honest conversation with yourself, can start taking the first steps to a little bit better experience in life.
Alycia Anderson: I’m taking that to heart after we get off of this.
Chris Ruden: Yeah,
Alycia Anderson: Chris.
Chris Ruden: it’s a hard one. It’s a hard one because like it’s, it does involve that personal responsibility and it’s tough. But let’s still continue to fight outward for people with disability inclusion and making sure we stand our ground. But internally in our community, let’s also get better ourselves too. It’s not, not doing it for them. We’re not doing it for the people who don’t accept us or appreciate us or include us. We’re doing it for us because we deserve it.
Alycia Anderson: Yeah.
Chris Ruden: And then we still, you know, so
Alycia Anderson: Um, Chris, thank you so much for giving me some of your valuable time to be on the show. I think this episode is going to absolutely be a fan favorite.
Chris Ruden: I thank you for doing this. Honestly, this, this kind of stuff has impact. That’s immeasurable. There’s no KPI that can measure the impact of someone who needed to hear your message, whether it’s with me or your other guests, they, they get what they need and they have a better day or a better life because of it.
And you’ll never know all of that impact that’s actually happening, but just know it’s happening.
Alycia Anderson: Thank you. Right back at you. Um, and thank you for our amazing community joining us on this episode again today. We will see you next week. This has been pushing forward with Alycia and that is literally how we roll on this podcast. We will see you next week.