Title:
Shattering Ceilings: Christina Smallwood on Hope, Leadership, and Motherhood

Subtitle:
From Adopting a Daughter with Cerebral Palsy to Becoming a Business Mogul—Christina Smallwood’s Inspiring Story of Faith, Resilience & Empowerment

Transcript:

Alycia Anderson: Welcome to Pushing Forward with Alycia, a podcast that gives disability a voice each week. We will explore topics like confidence, ambition, resilience, and finding success against all odds. We are creating a collective community that believes that all things are possible for all people. Open hearts, clear paths.

Let’s go.

Welcome back to Pushing Forward with Alycia. I’m fangirling today. I am beyond thrilled to introduce a boss babe that is literally redefining what it means to balance motherhood, business, and really authenticity in her platform.

She’s gifting us daily women empowerment and showing us how to be a boss, entrepreneur, make our way, be a mom. She’s got three children. She’s an adoptive mom, which I love this about your story. She has twins, which I’m a twin too. So we’ve got that in common. I’m loving the twin thing. I can’t wait to jump into that.

She has one daughter that primarily uses a wheelchair. We want to talk about mom hood with disability. She’s trailblazing what is possible building a multimillion dollar home based business. Let’s go.

She’s got a book coming out, podcast launching. There’s so much to talk about. We need to jump in. First of all, Christina Smallwood, welcome. I’m so privileged and proud to have you here.

Christina Smallwood: Wow! This is so amazing when you reached out, I was like, Oh my gosh, like, this is a big deal. I look to you for so much inspiration as a mom who’s raising a very powerful little aspiring entrepreneur daughter that lives in a wheelchair, like to be able to say, like, look at what you can do.

Like, there’s no limits. The way you share and the way you show up being so drawn to you. So I was an immediate yes, like oh my gosh, I hope I can deliver. I’m, not like your polished business person I’m, very much just the hot mess that I am but thank you so much for that intro.

That was beautiful.

Alycia Anderson: I love everything about you and that authenticity of you showing up the way that you are leading like a boss. And then also turning it off, being a mom, advocating for all three of your children. That has been such a powerful thing to watch as a woman, because I know just one of those things is pretty difficult.

Christina Smallwood: Yes.

Alycia Anderson: Can we talk about this multifaceted career life that you have? I know that you started off in the beauty industry. You have adopted your children. Can we just look back and talk about your journey and how that has brought you to embrace who you are today and all the work that you’re doing?

Christina Smallwood: 100 percent Going back, I’m the quintessential pastor’s kid, that you have heard the rumors about. I was the rebellious spirit born into a religious household. I was a very much I’m going to try everything once type person. I’ve made every single mistake that you can. Except I was never in prison and I never got pregnant super young. Later my infertility came and all that, but I pushed all the boundaries I’ll say. And I remember I was wayward and my dad pulled me into his office one day and the chair was by the desk that was never there so I sat down and I I just remember him being like, what are you doing?

I had barely graduated high school. I was getting fired from every job. I was crashing their cars like just a menace just like a loose cannon. I was going to Junior college to appease them to stay on for the health insurance he’s like, you know, the school’s calling, you’re missing a lot of school.

What are you doing with your life? You need direction. You need purpose. You can’t get paid to party. You can’t get paid to be social. And I’m like, but Paris Hilton is doing it. It was 2002, you know? So he’s like, the key to life is finding what you’re passionate about and then figuring out a way to get paid to do that.

He’s like, you really love being with people, you love with your hands and hair. You can go back to beauty school, you can make a thing of your life. That conversation, was the wind shifting in my sails, and I went back to beauty school. My whole life was different after that conversation.

I felt like he’s empowering me to do what I want. He was going to school to get a second PhD. My brother was valedictorian going to dental school. My mom was a permanent college student, just loved going to school for fun, and then there was me. I was the black sheep in my family. I didn’t fit in.

And so that empowerment, what do you want? And you can make a thing of it. That conversation pivoted everything.

We joke that I went back to beauty school and graduated with honors, which you can’t do. You can’t graduate beauty school with honors. But just to say like how serious I took it and I think realizing that you don’t need to meet what everybody else wants from you. Like, you need to find out what you want and hone into that. I’ve just really utilized that through anything that I think that there’s an expectation from society on me.

I just always think but what do I want to say in this? And I think that’s really taken a huge toll into all of my careers, my motherhood journey, all the ups and downs of that, and social media.

Alycia Anderson: I love that focus of what do you want to do? Because I think it’s really easy from a society perspective, we get pulled into we need to keep up with the Joneses and follow everyone else. I believe that probably came from you, not feeling like you fit in and how do you work through this?

Christina Smallwood: People pleasing 101, you tell me what I should want and then I’ll want it. That’s not what happens, you know.

Alycia Anderson: Yeah. So where should we start with all of those phases? Adoption, motherhood, business?

Christina Smallwood: What came first was, our adoption journey. That’s really where I started to have this transformation of next leveling the what do I want? Because even though that was still my mindset going into a lot of things, There was still a lot of I’s I wanted to dot and T’s. I was a daddy’s girl, he was very important to me, the wind in my sails, we would talk on a regular basis, I was very close with him, I was not ever really very close with my mom. I actually had a lot of resentment for my mom, because my dad had to work three jobs, and he wanted her to be a stay at home mom. He wanted her to be home, but I resented that she would pick me up and have a Nordstrom cup in her car. And I’d be like, my dad’s working all these jobs and I never get to see him.

And you’re out at Nordstrom? I think that birthed my desire to work and wish there was something I could do. I got a work permit at 15 and got my first job. I was born to work. But when he was killed in a motorcycle accident and that really woke me up. Oh my gosh, life is so short.

Like life is what we make of it. And I was grieving so hard. Cause it was the first major trauma in my life, losing my dad. And then I told my husband, I need joy now. we have been trying to get pregnant for a while. And I’m going to get infertility testing. I need to know we need to have a baby now.

I can’t live like this with this despair and the sadness and grief and my positive outlook just had a really hard time mixing. So I went and got infertility testing and they told me that I have what’s called diminished ovarian reserve, very low AMH levels. They wanted to start talking about infertility treatments right away. I turned to my husband and I was like, do you still want to be married to me? I’m thinking we got married and boom, then my dad dies and I’m like a mess. And then now I’m infertile and I can’t have his baby. this guy probably feels like he got catfished in a sense. and he said, what am I, a medieval King?

Have babies for me or banish? And so he said, we’ll adopt. So we started the adoption process. And which led to our daughter Finley, our oldest, and she was born nine weeks early, suffered a traumatic brain injury, was born with cerebral palsy and it just sort of was like, that’s the theme of your life, Christina. Like, nothing is gonna go as you want it to, as you plan it to, and you gotta make the most of the cards that you’re dealt. And so put that in alignment with like, what do you want now? It’s like, well, what can I make with what I want out of this? And so it was a lot of in the hard, you know, like there was this ups and downs and unknowns.

So it’s like, how do you live every day with unknowns? I was never the person that did that until I turned 28 years old. I feel like it’s created the best outlook and the best formula for joy in life. I know you know all about that and I know having lost your mom and living with a disability there’s so many things that you’re like, you have no idea. Like we haven’t figured out more than most people that don’t have hard things happen to them You know it’s a gift in a sense.

Alycia Anderson: Hope in the Hard.

I love that the word hope specifically for me translates really hard. My mom, when she was going through her cancer journey, all she would say to people is don’t take away my hope. It’s so important. And that hard piece is where you become more resilient, and you, get through something, you go, Oh, I did that.

Okay. What’s next? I love that you’re an adoptive mom. That’s such a powerful decision. You go through the process, your daughter has a disability unexpectedly. How does that shape your perspective? How do you navigate that initially?

Can you give advice out there to the moms that are listening? We’ve got a lot of moms with kids with disabilities that are navigating this life and getting into school and advocating.

Christina Smallwood: You got to take it one day at a time as we know, but I like to say one step at a time. The name of my book, Hope in the Hard. It’s coming, up?

Coming out this year. So stay tuned. It’s also the name of my podcast, Hope in the Hard, because I feel like that’s just the general theme of my life.

But I like to say one step at a time. Cause a lot of people say one day, well, that’s just time passing. It has to be this step in, I think, or one push, you know? So it’s like, basically it can be, hope is an action step. So hope is something we are doing. We can’t just say, Oh, I hope this works out. Right? It’s like, well, what can I do today to ensure that that’s going to be more likely to happen tomorrow?

So for me, I would say allowing myself to grieve on the days that I just had to grieve but number two, I’m the person that I don’t want anyone to feel sorry for me. So that actually propelled me to be more vocal about things because people can just see you from afar and be like, Oh, You get the stares, you get the people that feel bad for you or like. Like those pity, like the pity. And I don’t want anyone to pity us, we are the happiest people. Yes, we have hard things, but just because our life looks different doesn’t mean it’s a sad thing. So, that’s when I started really advocating, just telling people, if you see someone, smile, say hi. You don’t need to feel bad for us. And educating on the other side, that different doesn’t always mean sad. I think really leaning on communities and asking for help that was something I didn’t ever realize I had an issue with until I was in the position of like, no, no, no,

I know what to do. And it’s like, it’s okay to not know what to do. And it’s okay to ask for help and get the help. There was sometimes it was like, your daughter’s gonna need the surgery, and few moms would tell, and I’m like, no. She’s not having that surgery. And it was like, I was closed minded.

I’d find these pockets of myself that were so closed minded to things. And, so it really helped me become more open minded. Like, what if she had that surgery? I think for me, I had a hard time accepting that. You have hope that things will get better but then at the same time You don’t even want to let yourself hope that things might get better or easier because what if they don’t? And that let down a lot of people don’t want to deal with letdowns so they don’t even let them and that’s what I was doing with that closed mind was like, well, what if we go through all this and we pay for this and then, you know, she doesn’t walk after the surgery. And then that ended up being our reality. So I’ve realized through overcoming the, I guess myself in those things, that every single action that you take and, piece of advice you take or avenue that you go down, in hopes to find an answer or, the next, term that you’re going to get put on you or a diagnosis or, whatever. That it’s the pursuit of that, that’s really transforming you. And so just seeing that’s not the end. Every single day you have a gift in, okay, what am I going to pursue today? I’m a big believer in, in Jesus. So for me, it’s who’s God going to bring to me today?

That’s going to deliver me something. And I try to find the positive in each day. So instead of putting my head on the pillow every night, and I got in the habit of doing this, and this is life changing. Because as moms we can get a put our head on the pillow. We go, I should have done this. I should have done that.

I shouldn’t have snapped at that. I should have done this. We can literally speed ourselves up. I would say, what am I really grateful for today? Because anytime no matter your situation, someone always has it worse. So you can always be grateful for what you have, even if you want to have a pity party that day and, be in your feels. and so I would find what I was grateful for and sometimes it was the person ahead of me in Starbucks paying it forward and that was an obvious thing like, oh my gosh, thank you for paying the Starbucks forward. Or in some days it was like there was nothing except that, you know, we’ve made it another day. It sounds like hoo rah, hoo lah stuff, but legitimately, focusing on what you’re grateful for actually does train your brain to find more things to be grateful for. It’s wild how, like, the RAS of your brain actually will find more things to be happy about. So you’ll find that you begin having more hopeful, joyful days the more you’re really intentionally trying to focus on those things.

Alycia Anderson: Yeah, I do the same thing. I lie in bed, I pray, I try to have as much gratitude as possible. And on the hard days when it’s really hard to dive deep and find it. I find that if you are able to do that, more opportunity will open up and you’ll see more clear. I really love what you just said too, about leaning in on your community.

I think when disability is in your life, whether it’s happening to you or more importantly to the people around you, I often think for me, it’s been easier to go through the path right than having to have your family have so much fear around surgeries or decisions or, all those things. Leaning in on community is

extremely important disability or not. For me, even just starting this podcast, my advocacy voice has become so much stronger because I have this community of people that get it too. And we band together and we’re like, okay, we’re safe here.

Christina Smallwood: There’s so much power in knowing you’re not alone. Finley was In a Target advertisement and she had her walker and the outpouring of emails messages was insane from just that like just that one simple thing their daughter a walker walking by and there’s so much power in knowing are not designed to be alone.

We’re all human, but we all are different. I think just realizing that and allowing yourself to go there. I never feel more at home than when I’m with warrior moms. That’s what I call us, warrior moms. We know we get the same things and we can relate.

They say misery loves company. I don’t love to use that when I’m talking about warrior moms, cause we’re not in misery, but we have similar hardships we go through as a disability community. That’s where you really connect with people and find your people and you realize, together we can really overcome hard things, truly.

Alycia Anderson: Yeah, it’s beautiful to watch your journey with your daughter. Honestly, it really is. It’s been beautiful to watch her grow and become stronger in her disability and her body and like her walking and all the things that she’s accomplished, like you know, that’s because Her mom and her dad are leading her into the decisions to help her really master this beautiful life path and body that she has.

She’s been so amazing that she’s motivated. I mean, every therapist she has, every teacher, everybody’s like, if they all were like Finley, if everyone was like Finley, we’d have the best patients. She is so motivated and she doesn’t really ever complain.

Christina Smallwood: And I actually think that. I’ve almost done her a disservice by us being so positive and like i’m just being transparent because we just kind of turned this corner recently and like with all respect to her privacy this is where it gets really complicated for me because i’m like, well, what’s her personal business But I think that there’s a normalcy in everybody that lives with disability at one point hates their disability. And she just recently vocalized this. I mean, and there were tears and there was fear. It was like really the most gut wrenching thing that I’ve experienced so far on my journey with her. And that’s what I was telling you before. I’m just like, thank you so much for showing up and sharing, because when I can say to her, like. Look, it’s just like my dad sat me down. Like I was, I was at a loss for who I was and my dad sat me down and was like, the key to life is finding what you love to do. And then you’re, they’re going to make that. And so being able to show her like, look at this woman that’s speaking. She wants to do everything I do, you know?

So she wants to be a public speaker. She wants to be a boss. She wants, you know, she wants to do all these things. So to have people like you Alycia that are like leading by example in that way and just such a powerful authentic way It’s like so beautiful.

So, thank you so much

Alycia Anderson: You have no idea how much that means to me. And the reality is I hated it too, for a really long time. It took me into my forties to be like,

Christina Smallwood: Wow

Alycia Anderson: this is me, I’m disabled. This is a powerful part of my identity and I’m owning it because my life path deserves it at some point to just own who I am, but that does not come overnight.

And I know for many other like youth with disabilities that are grown, have the entire life. School is hard. It gets harder when you go through adolescence, she’s knocking on that door in the next few years, and that for me, was the hardest time of my life. And I think that being the support system that you are and, and encouraging her the way that you are now is going to help her.

I had to navigate that stuff without a mom and it was hard, and there’s just no sugarcoating it. But allowing her to have a community around her, my parents put me in wheelchair tennis and there was other kids with disabilities that I could band with, but then there was also integrated, opportunities with, able bodied experiences too, and putting those puzzle pieces together takes time.

Christina Smallwood: Yeah, absolutely.

Alycia Anderson: It’s not an easy fix. It’s really hard being disabled when you are young sometimes.

But we’re in such a beautiful place in our society. There’s never been this much opportunity.

I got my first wheelchair Barbie at 40. I never used to see people that look like me anywhere

Christina Smallwood: Yeah.

Alycia Anderson: Other than in segregated classrooms. And so she’s got so much opportunity and representation, around her that hopefully it empowers her. I’m sure it will.

Christina Smallwood: Yeah.

Alycia Anderson: It’s a beautiful time to be disabled.

Christina Smallwood: Yeah, yeah, yeah. And I think too, it’s just realizing, the journey that you’re on, molds and shapes you, authentically, right? So, just realizing, there’s nothing I can do. this is the journey she has to be on, and allow a space for her to grieve openly because I think everybody’s sick of toxic positivity, right?

AndI don’t want to be that and I think that I have a really good perspective of when to deliver positivity and when to just listen and rub her back. And that’s the hard part about parenting though, like with my team and with my business I feel like, deliver tough love in such a way that it’s motivating to women, and this is what you do, and we pick ourselves up and we toughen up, but when it’s your daughter, it’s oh my gosh, I’m the one gonna remember in these moments of, like you said, your mom was such a, a pillar of everything that mold and shaped you to be who you are, and It’s a big responsibility.

Alycia Anderson: Well, I think she’s got a great guidepost to follow. And from an outsider looking in, it reminds me of my mom and it’s quite amazing how beautiful you’re really. You can tell how beautiful your relationship is together. So I can’t wait to see what happens. I mean, she’s going to be on stages bigger than mine and bigger than yours.

Probably, you know.

Christina Smallwood: I think so. I think so.

Alycia Anderson: Let’s talk about your business, your entrepreneurship, you being a business mogul, frankly, like you have built a business that many of the women and men that follow this podcast and beyond I’m shooting for to, you know, how you become widely successful.

Christina Smallwood: Okay,

Alycia Anderson: Talk about that path for a minute.

Christina Smallwood: Everything rises and falls on leadership. I have had mentoring by John Maxwell, and I’m a living proof of this theme in your life. And growing a team and nurturing a team, and building it, building relationships, which turns into influence, which turns into success.

I think it really boils down to, and so many people will separate, what they do behind the scenes and what they do for their business. And when you realize it is one cohesive unit. That when you are the same person behind the scenes that you are and you want to be seen as, like when those two things collide, that is where the success happens.

There’s no like turning off my leadership hat. It is who I am now, because I’ve been practicing it and working towards it and really taking it serious. Which means I would say it’s easier to aspire and say you want these things and implement, but it’s harder to get rid of habits that are holding you back from where you want to be. And so for me, that was getting rid of gossip anyone that knows me now, knows I’m not going to sit and gossip. Before what was keeping me, from being the successful person I am today was I was that total misery loves company person.

I would sit and gossip. I would sit and, watch crap TV shows. I wasn’t really stepping into true leadership, which I honestly, feel like that’s, what’s holding most people back is that they are separating who they want to be and who they currently are and, allowing bad habits to creep in and take over.

I mean, I had to have harsh truths delivered to me from two of my closest business partners. One was my mentor. One was a woman on my team who was like my rock star. On my team so someone I had a lot of great admiration and respect for and that people pleaser in me had a really hard time dealing with conflict. I mean any good leadership book is going to talk to you like the moment something happens you need to tackle it head on, the longer you let people go assuming the more room you have for drama and things like that. I work with predominantly women. I’d say it’s 99 percent women on our team that’s near 40, 000 people. So it’s, it’s huge. They called me out on a zoom, literally Christina said, this, this, and this about you. And it was all coming from a place of, I don’t want anyone mad at me. It was like I’m a people pleaser.

I don’t want anyone mad at me. But I wasn’t being a leader. I wasn’t making this situation better. And I was in a position where this was my job to be a leader and make it better. But I thought I could kind of skate by and grow success without becoming the person that’s gonna step into leadership. I think a lot of people don’t look at themselves like they’re gonna be a leader and I certainly didn’t. I had got in trouble in school like I said, I was rebellious and they’d say well you’re a natural leader, and if you’re gonna be talking and disrupting the class other people are gonna talk and disrupt the class. There was that element of I had been told this, but I never believed it about myself, that call actually got me very angry with these two parties. They both know about the whole thing, but it sent me to therapy. Up until then I was very against therapy. This was 2019 right before COVID and everything. I went to therapy and I sat down and I told my therapist, I’m here to learn discernment because I let people walk all over me.

Okay. And, turns out, because I went to fix everybody else, you know, like, how can I make it so that I don’t care about everybody else being a mess? And she really, in terms, healed all the trauma in me and my need to please people and my need to be accepted. And it turns out like that’s probably why I was like the best advocate for Finley was because I was fighting for acceptance for myself. And it took a while for me to connect those two dots. I was 35 when I connected those dots. So why I speak so openly about this, because a lot of people are like, I would only talk to my therapist about this, you know, is because I hope to help other people connect those dots between their childhood traumas and their childhood ish and what they’re experiencing now.

Those patterns do not change. They just look different. And so if you find yourself at constantly experiencing the same anxiety or the same, it’s because you’re continuing to make the same decisions just in a different capacity. So that awareness is huge. I mean, it’s when you have that light bulb moment.

I feel like life was always very chaotic and very just like all the colors. And now it’s like black and white to me. And it allows me to help other women get over those hurdles, which in business, truly, we are really the only things holding ourselves back, like our limiting beliefs of where we want to be.

And so, I’m a big advocate for therapy. If you’re a business woman, you want to make it far. It’s like, you would go attend business courses to get better in your business. You would go to a physical gym to strengthen your muscles, right? It’s like you need a mental gym to be the best mental health that you can be.

Alycia Anderson: And I love what you just said about needing to own that you are a leader and the owning it internal battle of owning that I am a leader. I am a boss. I know what I’m doing and I want to help other people in this grow their careers, whatever your position is in leadership. And I think a lot of us, as I’m going to just say, probably as women struggle with that internally. Am I a leader yet? I know that blocked me for a really long time. I stayed in a job too long. I didn’t ask for a promotion.

I didn’t move up fast enough. I look back cause once I started using my words, leveraging my power, saying it out loud, things really started to grow and build. But we hold ourselves back with this fear of that’s not me yet.

Christina Smallwood: Yeah.

Alycia Anderson: What’s the advice there? You know, like we do such a terrible job at not believing.

Christina Smallwood: I think it boils down to us trusting ourselves. So when you say you don’t trust yourself yet. So I think like there’s two issues with that, right? Then there’s like, okay, I don’t really necessarily believe it, which is one thing, but then when you aren’t building a trust with yourself or the people around you.

So, I say I’m going to do XYZ five days a week and then I don’t. Well, I can’t even lead myself, so how am I going to lead other people? So there’s already that doubt because I’m making promises to myself and not keeping them, right? Then this other end of that is, I get online and I preach all this stuff.

Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. I’m this, I’m that, I’m this. And then behind closed doors with those that are closest to me, I’m a completely different person. I’m a different version of myself. So there’s a huge disconnect already and that’s going to limit your beliefs as well. So if I’m online and I’m saying, don’t gossip with your team, don’t do this with them, like don’t, you know, and then behind closed doors I’m doing it. I really am not giving myself permission to grow in that way There’s so many memes out there and quotes that are, you know, you have to hang out in new circles if you want to grow into new versions of yourself and change means that you have to let go. I mean I’ve lived all of those memes and those quotes and all those things and so being able to put actual moments to them.

I think if you’ve already lived some of those, like, okay, I knew what I had to, let go of and what lie I had to stop telling myself, or what thing I needed to start doing every day that allowed me to go, you know what, no, I am going to use my voice more today. It has nothing to do with anybody else viewing you any differently, you know?

Alycia Anderson: And you just translated the dots that you talked about, which was. Entrepreneurship and, and being in your space and being successful the way that you are, it’s a lived experience and you don’t compartmentalize it. Like it’s kind of like. Show up the way you are and then show up the way that you are is what I’m hearing.

Is that true?

Christina Smallwood: Yes, and own your ish, okay? Like, I think this stems from me going through the program. I’ve been sober five years now. Well, almost five years in February, it’ll be five, but there’s a reason in the program for you to let go of who you were to grow into who you need to be. You need to go make amends. You need to go apologize and you need to go forgive. Okay? Forgiveness is the hardest thing for anybody to do. And I guarantee you, you show me someone stuck in their business or stuck in their growth pattern or stuck in their, you know, they’ve capped themselves with their income. Like you show me some, they are struggling to forgive someone in their life.

Period. The end. This is why my book’s also going to come with a forgiveness kit. Because I believe that, like, they say, It will set you free, you know, it really will. And so it can be someone from your past. It could be you it could be You know, you have resentment somewhere that’s holding you back. It’s changing the way you make decisions moving forward So those dots cannot connect if you are holding on to any kind of bitterness, resentment, lack of forgiveness.

So for me in the program, when I went through and I called all the people that I had done God knows what to in our past and apologized and got their forgiveness, I know confidently wholeheartedly, you know, my mom and I shared that we weren’t very close and we went through, you know, almost two years without speaking or seeing each other. And that was my decision. Post therapy was, I’m like, I can’t with this, you know, and I, how am I a powerful woman that literally deals with women and I can’t even get along with my own mom, you know, like how, how was that my reality? And, and so I was determined to, that one day I’d be able to get along with her and she was the same.

So now we have a beautiful relationship. We actually do public speaking together sort of about this because there’s so many mom daughter issues I told you I started resenting her at a very young age at elementary school when I would see the Nordstrom cups in the car. So I had to let go of a lot of layers of things that no amount of work was ever gonna work out of me, you know And so that’s what I mean by who you are Is gonna be what holds you back for success that girl that was holding on to all that drama And like strumming it up and you know, even if from the outside I looked very successful, but my business was capped like I wasn’t growing past a certain point and so to get there I had to really let go of all of those things.

And I learned that through the program, but I mean just knowing every single day that I’m going about life, like completely forgiven everybody. I don’t hold grudges. Like it is, it’s so freeing. And I think that that leaves room for abundance in your life.

Alycia Anderson: Fly free to abundance.

Christina Smallwood: Fly little birdie fly. Life’s too short to not forgive somebody.

Alycia Anderson: Yeah, I totally agree. That’s beautiful. I think that’s all really good advice. You mentioned the book, so like, I want to give the book some space in your podcast, like talk about the book a little bit and you’re speaking, like speak to the clients out there that are listening to this right now. Like, what do you do?

Tell us about your platform a little bit and all of that.

Christina Smallwood: For a while I was like a bit of a PR hot mess because I just knew like put me in front of women. I want them to know they can shatter any glass ceiling that they’ve set for themselves. My background is not in psychology. My, background is in like lived experience.

I’ve gone from zero to a hundred and I love watching that light bulb moment in women’s eyes. I don’t know if you ever saw that episode of friends, like you’re your own thunderstorm, Rachel, you know, like that’s what I feel. So I wrote a book basically so that I could get hired to publicly speak because my publicist was like Christina no one’s gonna hire you to put you on stage if you don’t have a book. So I was like, all right, I’ll write a book. Started writing the book and that was like my total motive. Well, the holy spirit really kicked in and this book is like my heart and soul and everything that I preach on every single day, like I’m so excited for it. I’m so proud of it It’s literally like just in the tail end. We just finalized the cover like it’s coming out like cannot wait.

I don’t have a date yet but it’s called Hope in the Hard. It is action steps for overcoming hardships. Each chapter is titled with an emotion that holds us back. So one chapter is grief. One is people pleasing. One is numbing, one is avoiding so there’s so many different chapters that you could it’s a standalone. So you could just say oh, I know someone grieving right now.

Just here’s the book. Just read the chapter on grief. They’re all standalone. They all have a call to action because I’m big on actions are going to be what get us, to the next step. I share on stages, just my journey, my story. I can go on any tangible a business wants me to. I can train on social media, which that’s what I did for the world class closer event in Miami. I speak to salespeople, how to present themselves on social media. I can speak to just overcoming yourself and building a personal brand with authenticity, which we’re seeing authenticity have a huge moment right now. So there’s been a lot of people asking me to speak for that. I honestly, you give me what you need your people to hear.

And I guarantee you, I have a good 15 minute shtick on exactly how to deliver that. And I know that I have, I’ve gone through all this pain for a purpose. And truly my main thing is. It’s just helping people realize their, their own superpowers, like, and their God given talents, you know, like, and that’s my favorite thing.

So you will be able to get the book soon, but I am completely for hire to speak. I love getting in front of any size audience. I won my first speech meet when I was six years old. Okay. Like I, I love it so much. And so I feel like I finally, you know, I went through the hairstylist life for a while. I gained a lot of experience with my little mini stage.

And now the fact that I get to speak to sold out crowds is, is so awesome. And I just, I, love it. I live for the people shaking hands, hugging the stories. And I just think it’s so amazing. So you can also find me. On Instagram, I pretty much live there share my whole life, the whole enchilada, the ups, the downs, the parasite cleanses, the, the everyday things.

And I just, I love living life and showing people you can be you. Like you can be you and whatever that looks like, the world needs one of you.

Alycia Anderson: your platform is beautiful and you’re doing a lot for a lot of women. It’s very, very apparent. And I know you’ve motivated me over and over as an entrepreneur. So I appreciate. You doing the work for us, honestly, and putting it out there. And I’m, I mean, I have no doubt that the speaking is going to be successful and is successful.

The stages you’ve already been on are massive.

Christina Smallwood: Thank

Alycia Anderson: To the stars, sister, to the stars. Let’s go. Is there anything else? Because I’m going to wrap up soon. Do we miss anything? This was a beautiful conversation.

Christina Smallwood: loved this conversation so much, like, I want to have you on my little tiny podcast.

Alycia Anderson: Please.

Christina Smallwood: Just start it. Okay. But no, I mean, nothing else. Just, I mean, that’s my message and, you know, I could talk for two hours about all of this, like in all the stories and all the things and, That is why I wrote a book. Now I’m obsessed, but no, thank you so much, Alycia. I seriously enjoy talking to you again. I have the greatest, utmost respect and honor. This was an honor. Thank you.

Alycia Anderson: It’s my honor to wrap this podcast up with a pushing forward moment, a mantra, a little piece of hope

Christina Smallwood: Love.

Alycia Anderson: can give away to our community. Is there something that you are willing to gift away as we wrap this up for our community to take away and feel really great today?

Christina Smallwood: like closing words or like an actual thing.

Alycia Anderson: you, anything that comes to your mind, I do this on purpose to put our guests on the spot. So like whatever comes to you in this moment is it could be a mantra. It could be a thing you live by. It could be.

Christina Smallwood: Hi, I’m

Alycia Anderson: could be the title of your book.

Christina Smallwood: well as you just shared, like probably majority of your audience is you know, in business, right? Like I would say, I’m going to speak to you right now, if you’re in business, You need to go on your social media and you need to share your story.

Like you have to share your story. I think that it’s, I mean, we’re seeing such a moment right now with like different businesses and organizations and brands, especially that are saying, you know, they’re sharing their origin story. Like, so if it’s been a while, even if you have it beautifully curated on a website, even, even if you have it somewhere, you know, on your profile already, Legitimately go live be raw and just share your story in your heart like and someone is going to see it like something going to help you connect the dots with your social media And I just think we all need reminders and that freedom to like to go do that Like when was the last time you you did that, you know, and so that’s what’s coming to my head right now I don’t know if that

Alycia Anderson: I feel like you’re speaking directly to me and I need it. So thank you.

Christina Smallwood:There you go, I love it.

Alycia Anderson: Christina, thank you so much. We’re going to leave all your information in the show notes. When your book comes out, we’ll be blasting it again, all of that. And just thank you for sharing your hope and your power and you just being a total boss. It’s a real inspiration for all of us women and beyond out there.

So thank you for putting yourself out there the way that you do.

Christina Smallwood: Thank you.

Alycia Anderson: Yeah. Okay. I’m gonna wrap up. Thank you to our community for showing up again. This has been Pushing Forward with Alycia and that is literally how we roll on this podcast. We will see you next time.