Title:
Turning 50X2 Together: A Twin Tale of Time, Tenacity & Triumph

Subtitle:
Double the sparkle, double the story – Alycia & Regina turn 50 boldly, brilliantly, and beautifully in sync

Transcript:

Alycia Anderson: Welcome to Pushing Forward with Alycia, a podcast that gives disability a voice. Each week we will explore topics like confidence, ambition, resilience, and finding success against all odds. We are creating a collective community that believes that all things are possible for all people. Open hearts, clear paths.

Let’s go.

Welcome back to Pushing Forward with Alycia. I am Alycia, and I’ve got my favorite VIP guest on the show with me back again. I’m really excited to share the mic with you as a 50-year-old. Congratulations for turning 50, by the way.

Regina Weinstein: Until you turned 50 that’s a thing.

Alycia Anderson: Yeah, we are having a birthday celebration today to wrap up our 50th birthday that we just enjoyed thoroughly.

Regina Weinstein: Milestone Central

Alycia Anderson: Yep. Playa Mujeres, which stands for women’s beach. So we were just in Mexico. We had the most magical celebration to bring in 50, and it wasn’t just any trip. This was a dream trip that we’ve been talking about literally for decades. It was a vision, it was a gathering. It was family, it was a party, it was love, it was celebration, it was relaxation.

And we had about 22 of our closest friends and family show up for this all-inclusive getaway. We danced, we laughed. We got a little sun, took a catamaran ride, we did all kinds of things and I don’t know, I thought it would just be really nice for us to come together and talk about the last 50 years, how it’s been to celebrate our birthday and what the future looks like for us.

So thanks for giving, Pushing Forward with Alycia a little bit more space, Reg.

Regina Weinstein: Oh no. I was counting down the days clearly. I wanted to go for it yesterday or the day before.So let’s get this party started.

Alycia Anderson: You have an been eager, so let’s talk about, before we jump into the trip and like all the things that we did, which was so amazing, let’s talk about 50. There’s been this like lead up to 50 for me. I almost didn’t enjoy 49 because there was this ramp up of whoa, we’re gonna turn 50. What does that mean?

So what does that mean for you? Like, how does it feel? How has that process been for you?

Regina Weinstein: To me, it feels like a fresh start, I do feel like my 49th year was almost a non year because we worked so aggressively to plan this event that me accepting 50 happened a lot sooner than I think it probably would’ve if, we weren’t, finger on the pulse to get this awesome party in play. But the more that we approached the date and the more that the date came and went, the more I felt like starting the most powerful decade of my life. And I’m actually very optimistic and feeling really good about it, stronger than ever. And I feel like the world is literally opening its hands to me right now and it’s mine to go get.

So how hard am I gonna fight to go really accomplish some of my biggest goals in this next decade, and work really hard to get there. So I’m ready.

Alycia Anderson: I love everything that you just said right there is really motivating for me it gave me the chills up and down my spine a couple times in that you’re looking at this new decade as an opportunity to go get, and I think that courage or strength or just being settled with who you are comes in time and to be this like boss that you are, to be leading teams and running companies and being an awesome mom and amazing wife and leading households and multitasking in a way that, whoa.

I think becoming proficient in those things does take time turning 50, feels powerful to me too. It feels like an honest time of life. It feels earned. It is a journey of showing up and pushing through

the good times and also the hard times to get to where we’ve gotten and this entry point into 50, they call it your golden birthday.

It feels golden. It feels bright and light and possible and hopeful and all of those things. And I personally was rejecting it for a while, like 50. Oh my God, how has this come to be? But, it does feel like prime time right now and there’s something liberating in just like owning that piece of, yeah we’re 50, we’ve worked hard to get to where we are, to be doing what we’re doing and to have built our lives and our community and our families and our opportunities and our self-acceptance and our self-worth and our women empowerment and all of those things like that takes a long time to build a foundation under you where you can turn 50 and go yeah, let’s go like what is next?

So I love that you’re putting it into that position ’cause I agree it’s super beautiful. Really awesome. Really great.

Regina Weinstein: The first day back to reality was one of the best days I’ve had so far, professionally and personally. And it’s a testimonial to how I feel about this transition. I had to fight really hard in my forties to overcome quite a few things, like decisions that I made personally professionally things that were scary and difficult and you get over the other side of that and you start going, okay, yes, it feels good when, hard work has paid off because you’ve had your finger on the pulse, you just haven’t stopped. Forties did a lot of that for me.

Alycia Anderson: Forties were a powerful decade, and to add another layer to your achievements outside of just accomplishing and building your career is like you built a family. You went through all kinds of things to do that, and forties are really like foundational age to build that structure.

I think you did that proficiently in that now you’re ready to just chase the stars, and achieve.

Regina Weinstein: I just think like you, you believe in yourself, and you believe in your confidence, and you believe in your value. And, you stick to that and you continue to go for it, and it unfolds. You’re a testimonial to that as well.

Alycia Anderson: Yeah I think the ramp up to 40 too has been also like, we’ve both been on this, goal setting to be healthy, and fit and like where can we land at 50 to feel really good in our own space? And that could look different for everyone, but you and I have just, we’ve spent this last year going, all right we’re gonna plan this party.

We’re gonna pretend like we’re getting married, we’re gonna invite a ton of people who shows up, and we’re gonna have a big, beautiful party, and we’re gonna go on adventures and we’re going to enjoy celebrating and relaxing, and that’s exactly what we did. And we just had the most beautiful week, literally in the tropics.

The waters were bright blue. We went to an island, we rode on catamarans, we danced. We just like really enjoyed the moment and I feel like I haven’t stopped for a while to just chill and enjoy moments. So it was a good lesson for me too because I came back ready to go as well. Just like you said, like back to work. Ready, like future is open.

But I think taking a break and giving ourselves some rest also and some fun without any responsibility other than just that did a lot for me from like a mental health perspective to just chill out and let some of the anxiety and the stress that I carry around mellow. And I feel just so much more open, like mind is clear.

And so I think that’s really important to stop and enjoy the roses too sometimes.

Regina Weinstein: And do it for the right amount of time it takes time to chill out and then it takes time to ramp back up. And if you can get into that middle place where you actually don’t know what day of the week it is, you made it, and that’s where I was, living while we were on vacation.

Alycia Anderson: It took me a little time to get there and then when I got home I usually just jump right back into it. I gave myself a day and I was so calm and it gave me a minute to settle in my space.

At home and in my office too, in that calmness instead of go what’s next. And I think that’s important too, to light the sage, and clear the space and allow some new energy to come in so I think that’s really good. What did the trip mean to you overall?

Regina Weinstein: It was one of the best experiences of my life, if not the best definitely in the top few. And it meant everything to me to, like you said, to have the break, but number two, to have so many close people around us and just feeling that each person was taking away something that they also needed, that all felt so good, quality time with family members that we don’t see, as regularly as we would like to, as well as with friends that we’ve had for a lifetime, a literal lifetime showed up and that was just such a gift. It literally making memories that, we’ll everybody will cherish forever.

And, not only that, just being able to soak in the sun and spend time with my husband and my daughter and you especially just to have those moments of, celebration, drinking, beach, just floating. Just all of it was it was just such a pleasure.

The experience we had in the spa, just everything was so celebratory and you felt that everywhere. And just, it just made every day so fun. there were so many things to celebrate while we were there and it just was, one thing after the other. This bucket full of love. And it was amazing.

Alycia Anderson: Yeah. And I like some of my favorite moments was, I’m gonna use Nick’s term, enjoying seeing some of the elders, like Shane’s mom, your mother-in-law who turned 75. Her birthday’s always the day before ours. So we always spent our birthdays together. But this was extra special. And her like, I just have this image of her floating around in the pool with her arms up, just thoroughly enjoying.

Being on an all-inclusive trip, which she’s never done before, and just soaking it in every single solitary moment. And Shane’s Aunt Debbie. And there was just, there was people, uncle Mark and Rhonda, and there was just people there that came that you could tell how these were lifetime memories that we will all carry together in such a special way.

And then also, like for me too, having quiet time with Marty and just like relaxing and enjoying my husband without all of the noise of our business and all these things that we’re constantly just on go time with was really amazing too. I had this goal before we went to wear shorts and that might seem so like small, when I say that out loud on this show.

But I had never worn shorts before in my entire life. Not bathing suits. That aren’t covering my legs, like the whole thing. And I really wanted to set myself free and my body free and just be really settled with who I am personally, physically when I turned 50. And so I did this whole prep before we went practicing at home, just putting on tanning lotion, because it feels naked to me when I’m showing my legs.

And I prepped and then we got there and my legs were tan and I was ready to go and I put on shorts and a bathing suit. And I rolled out, and first of all, my husband looks at me like, wow, you’re so stunningly beautiful. Which made me feel so, so good. But I roll out and I didn’t tell anybody ’cause Regina knew, but I didn’t want anybody to know.

I just wanted it to be like, oh, will anybody even notice? Because I was practicing and like I would go to, Office Depot or something. Nobody even noticed that I was wearing shorts. It was like this big thing to me, it was nothing. But Shane’s mom, Marsha, just like her eyes lit up when she saw me and she just made me feel so good.

And I literally set myself free in my body during Mexico too, which was probably the biggest gift I could have ever given to myself in my life. Like I can’t, how different I feel now with wanting to be. Like free, show my whole self. So that was really powerful for me too. And it’s like it’s transcending into my life.

Like yesterday we went on this really cool, Marty and I were riding around these like trikes that they look like tractors. And we could put our wheels on ’em.

And when I showed up for this thing, I was wearing shorts. I ended up wearing pants when we were in the thing ’cause we were in nature and there was lots of twigs and all kinds of like rough stuff. But I wore shorts and I felt myself when I was approaching my community, like all these other people that were disabled, and so it’s really hard for me to snap out of the hiding myself, but I’m really trying to be as authentic as I can in this 50-year-old body and show it off while I can.

So that was a really big moment for me.

Regina Weinstein: I think the other thing is, though, you had the reaction from the people that know and love you the most, Marsha, there were also people that did not even realize that was occurring. And it just also shows you that though that’s been a big blocker in your own mind, that it’s been something that you’ve had to navigate.

Not other people.

Alycia Anderson: I know.

Regina Weinstein: There wasn’t staring, there was nothing that was non beautiful about the way that you looked every single day. it just shows you mindset and how powerful it can be.

Alycia Anderson: Yeah, and I think body image is something that we all struggle with. And so that was a good lesson for me, that whatever you’re struggling with, like self-acceptance is probably the hardest thing to achieve. Self-confidence. And when you chip away at that a little bit, you achieve a little bit more.

It really does feel like you’re free, literally like free.

Regina Weinstein: It feels very 50.

Alycia Anderson: It does, it feels very 50. Like I just love it that I got through that. I didn’t know if I was gonna actually be able to do it.

Regina Weinstein: Congratulations.

Alycia Anderson: Thank you. Yeah. And when Marty and I left the hotel room when I was in my shorts, we ran into Mark and Rhonda, who’s Shane’s uncle and aunt and we were approaching them.

I was like, oh my God, Marty, do you think they’re gonna notice? They didn’t notice anything. They just by us. I’m like, this is so melodramatic. I need to just move on onto the next thing to worry about. That’s not a worry.

Totally.

I feel like we’ve talked about our twin bond a little bit, but can we talk about it just for a minute?

I’m gonna start. It’s been the most important gift that I’ve had in my life to live this life with you.

Regina Weinstein: Agreed.

Alycia Anderson: I want to thank you for every single moment of being by my side and being the best ally that I could have and creating space for me and advocating for me and like 50 years into all of this together.

You’ve just been probably the most important thing that has shaped who I have become, and I’ll never be able to put into words how thankful I am for you being that for me, and I’ve been reflecting on it a lot this birthday. I don’t know where I I would’ve become, where I would be without the security that you have given me and the friendship.

And I just want you to know that like it’s been the greatest gift of my life to live this life with you. Like it’s been the most important thing. And there’s a lot of important things, and I’m not trying to put one over the other, but like in our 50 moment, like I just want to extend the biggest loving piece of gratitude that I could ever give to you, Regina, because, we’ve had such an incredible life. I can’t wait to see what the next 50 years brings. But man, I just, I’m so grateful. Like when I reflect in the moments like we’ve gone through so much, not even just with the disability, losing our mom, losing our dad, like the struggles that you had with pregnancy and health scares and just all the things that we’ve been through over our life.

I’ve never been afraid ’cause you’re always there, and that is such a privilege. It’s such a privilege to be your twin. And I just want you to know how grateful I am for you honestly.

Regina Weinstein: I feel the same way. it’s a two-sided road. And though you see that from your perspective, I see it from mine as well. Talk about being 18 and turned into an adult and encouraged to move out of the house, and how could we have ever done some of the things that we’ve had to do without each other?

It’s, it just it really is a two-way street. It just is, and I feel the same way. There’s so many things that I don’t know how I would’ve accomplished or navigated by myself either. And we just have never had to worry about that because we were born together, and that just gave us this awesome opportunity to always have someone by your side and whether you’re at a new school and you’re trying to navigate new friendships or you’re, at the Girl Scout camp for the first time and you’re camping in a tent or you’re starting high school and they don’t have space for you in the upstairs history class or, whatever the situation has been.

We’ve just always been able to unite and problem solve, and I think that’s also been a strong testimonial to our success as adults. You’re not given the easiest situation in life, which, like you said, not just disability, but also loss of parents and, navigating a family that’s very unconventional and things like that.

And all of that is difficult, but you figure out a way to navigate it and you’ve got someone to do it with. You just have a different confidence level of how I’m gonna achieve this and succeed and literally make it, it’s like you almost have to, you can’t just do it for yourself.

You’re doing it for someone else, and that encourages you even more to get the power behind you to accomplish what is you’re trying to set out. And I just think both of us have a do not fail mindset, and that’s the way we were raised and it’s the values that we’ve got and we’ve just both been able to do that as a team, and you just, you’re stronger together than apart, and it’s like that in so many situations in life.

Alycia Anderson: And you just said an interesting word team and that like team effort has been embedded in us like literally since the sell split. Like we’ve always been a team and I think that mindset. Has translated into how we build community and bring people around us and bring people with us, and want others to achieve too and want others to be around and not feel left behind.

And that team mentality, that being a twin, if you’re lucky enough to have the bond that we do I think that it’s a huge lesson that you can take into life, you can take into your careers, you can take into a lot of themes when you’re navigating your path and that’s sewn into, granny’s motto, be a good person to be kind to others, like I think there’s a good little recipe there that helps you succeed.

And if you fail, you’re still finding community and teammates along the way that are gonna support you in that as well, which is a really important lesson I think.

Regina Weinstein: Definitely it’s like you give and you get back and if you naturally are a giver, and I know that’s the case for both of us, right? The whole idea of, being worried about other people. And being worried about making sure other people are happy and not just yourself.

It really does translate back to yourself. And then you get that same love and appreciation and support where it’s being sent out. And all of that is such an awesome, amazing like just return in life, and I think that through the lessons of really great people, like we, we come. Our roots run so deep, and though it was again, very unconventional and things we had to overcome, things that many people have not you figure out a way to build off of that instead of allowing it to, take you down and all of a sudden you’re catapulting forward.

And translating those amazing lessons into the next generation, which is even more important.

Alycia Anderson: Gifting the catapult to others that are waiting to learn how.

Regina Weinstein: Okay, so a fun question three of your, top favorite moments of the trip.

it was pretty fun when the water drummer came out at the party. We literally had people thinking we were having male dancers who were up to get started. That was pretty fun. Just the whole party in general, we had comments of not believing that the environment was our actual party when they walked up, and just having that big family table and being able to enjoy a meal and really enjoy that time was totally awesome.

It worked out absolutely perfect.

Alycia Anderson: Yeah.

Regina Weinstein: I would say my second memory was definitely the catamaran day and, I don’t typically love getting in the ocean and I don’t typically love to swim. I don’t feel like I’m, I can swim, but I’m not the strongest swimmer and, kinda getting outta my own way and snorkeling that day and that beautiful water and having that experience with my husband and daughter was totally awesome.

I’ll for sure remember that forever and it will translate into me being less fearful about those types of scenarios.

Alycia Anderson: I was very proud of you because you’re always scared of fish.

Regina Weinstein: They were everywhere. And I would say like the third moment, it was probably just like really seeing the enjoyment on people’s faces. The fact that, Marsha, my mother-in-law just had this tremendous experience that she’s never had in her life.

And just seeing how grateful she was to be part of it was, and I’ll remember those memories forever. Also having just, really awesome time with some of our closest friends, that to me was also just so special. We just had such a variety of our history come into place and everybody really enjoyed each other and we were able to navigate a hotel and, have large dinner reservations every night and just really keep the group together and that was just so awesome.

Alycia Anderson: I agree.

Regina Weinstein: Highlights.

Alycia Anderson: I agree with all those. Those are really great moments and I’ll add three more on top of those. one of my favorite moments was when we got to the island.

Where we again, sat at a really big table and had amazing Mexican food on this island. I had the most amazing shrimp and they brought over tequila shots and the whole entire table like got involved and it was just like a really big fun party moment.

Regina Weinstein: Awesome.

Alycia Anderson: I enjoyed seeing our husbands and our sister-in-law, all the guys like, I feel like they were all very like happy and peaceful and enjoying each other and I guess that’s to the point of some of the elders too is like just seeing everybody. I enjoyed seeing everybody enjoy probably more than anything like, ’cause everybody was so happy.

That it was just like infectious to just stare and watch and soak it. Even the kids, like all of our rooms were connected almost, and the swim up pools and the kids were just playing constantly and so that was one of my favorite like general moments, but when Corinna and Bobby and Theo arrived, when Theo saw me, he, his face lit up and just gave me it set the tone for me for the trip about how like excited he was to see everybody together.

So that was really nice. And then it was great to be with our girlfriends, like you said, and i’m gonna leave the wearing shorts like as one of my favorite moments because my life has changed since it like completely. And I just think being in community, being set free and we earned this, like turning 50 is years of going through life and papa like always used to tell me like, happy birthday, Alycia, on every birthday you made it another year. You weren’t supposed to even make it this long. And our mom died when we were 32. There was this like, oh, we gotta get past 32. There’s always been this thing like, getting to 50 is an accomplishment and I’ve been telling everybody like.

Regina Weinstein: Every time I tell people that we turn 50, they say, congratulations, congrat. What about Happy Birthday? Making me mad? Why are they saying congratulations? It’s an accomplishment. It’s such a beautiful privilege to get the opportunity to live your life, and we have so much privilege. We’re so lucky. And so just like reflecting on that and like soaking in the beauty and merging all of that stuff together was just a, it was just a serene, like peaceful, like coming of age. That’s been really, I’m proud of us. The other things that were like really awesome with the trip were there were some amazing speeches and things said to us during our party, which just was awesome to hear, and unexpected to be honest. And then the spa treatment that we had, the day that we did the spa was. It was just one of the most luxurious, best things I’ve done in my life, so I really enjoyed that too. Allowing yourself to get into that environment and get uncomfortable to get comfortable, you made a conscious decision to do things in treatments in that spa that you don’t, you typically don’t raise your hand for.

And I think that, that is also a life-changing beneficial decision on your own part because you.

Alycia Anderson: Say what that is? What did I do?

Regina Weinstein: Historically you’ve never had a body treatment. You always go in for the facial.

Alycia Anderson: Body, upper, but they were like massaging my legs and my feet and my legs and I just feel so awkward all the time on my lower half. And the therapist was just so into loosening my muscles and like lovingly taking, she kept saying, every body is beautiful. And I’m like, and she just made me feel so good.

And it was so healthy for my legs and my feet that I ignore because I don’t give them the same space that I give the rest of my body. And yeah, that, that was actually really amazing too. So well done, Reg. I think we accomplished a goal we set out for a long time ago.

Regina Weinstein: It was a year. It was like 20 years plus in the dis under discussion, but then a solid year of planning. We really planned for a year and it

Alycia Anderson: It showed

Regina Weinstein: Yeah.

Alycia Anderson: to you.

Regina Weinstein: You, was

Alycia Anderson: thank you to Finest Playa Mujeres for treating us like gold the entire time.

Regina Weinstein: Highly recommend.

Alycia Anderson: That all inclusive,

Regina Weinstein: Anyone looking for good food, great service, and

Alycia Anderson: Loving people there, very loving.

Regina Weinstein: Just like there were so many benefits. The hotel was incredible and very accessible and accommodating, so that was a huge goal for us.

Alycia Anderson: All right it’s on to the next 50 years and we need to start setting new goals. So we need to start planning for that so we have something new to look forward to. But happy 50th birthday, Reg.

Regina Weinstein: Happy 50th.

Alycia Anderson: You deserve it too.

Regina Weinstein: Next decade is just, it’s here and we’re ready.

Alycia Anderson: Thanks for being my very best friend and may God bless you in our next 50 years together.

Regina Weinstein: God bless you too.

Alycia Anderson: Did I forget anything?

Regina Weinstein: Pushing forward moment.

I was gonna go there, so why don’t you leave the pushing for a moment. Go ahead. I think one of the biggest things that helped me transition my life from late thirties, throughout forties, and now into fifties is remembering that taking time to be very mindful. Taking time to meditate, taking time to physically write down your goals and not be afraid to really go for the stars and then say things out loud. It’s how I accomplished the majority of what I was trying to achieve in my forties. Manifesting and gratitude and love and belief in yourself, even on the hard days, like turning that negative, thought to positive literally can change your life. That’s my pushing forward moment into fifties.

It’s my commitment to myself as well as to you Alycia, and my family, that I will not stop doing any of those things because I expect fifties to be better than forties.

Same. How about you Alycia?

Alycia Anderson: I love it. My pushing forward moment at 50 is as much as you possibly can, lean in to accepting who you are the way that you are and set yourself free, whatever that means to you. Because once I’ve done that for myself.

I really have felt like I can rest deeper. I can breathe clearer, I can see farther, and I can dream bigger by just allowing myself to be open to who I am fully without trying to be anything else but that. Yeah, that’s my pushing forward moment. I love you so much, Regina.

Thanks for having me on the show.

Thanks for coming back. You’re always a fan favorite. This will be the last week of celebrating our 50th. It’s been two weeks of blasting it out. This will be the final.

Regina Weinstein: We’re gonna celebrate for the next 10 years.

Alycia Anderson: Thank you for showing up today, Regina.

Regina Weinstein: Thank you for showing up every day, Alycia.

Alycia Anderson: Okay. And thank you for our community too. This has been pushing forward with the twins. Regina and Alycia, and that is how we roll on this podcast. We will see you next week.